Mafiosa

8

VALENTINA LUCCHESE

Fuck, I feel like shit.

I slowly open my eyes, almost becoming blinded by the sunlight shining through the room. My hand reaches for my forehead and I groan in annoyance, trying to recall last night's events, but I can't.

Finally managing to sit up from the comfort of my bed, I looked over to my nightstand which has a short glass of water and a few Advil pills.

Drowning down the two white pills and water, I lift my sore body from the bed and walk into my bathroom. Turning the shower taps, I undress myself and step into the shower. The immediate warmth from the water hits me and relaxes my tensed muscles.

Memories of Don's words in the cafe yesterday overcome my mind.

"I have prostate cancer."

I just can't process it. He's dying. My own father is dying.

And there's nothing I can do.

I absolutely hate the feeling of having no control in my life. It makes me feel weak.

There's only been a few other times in my life where I've felt this way.

Number one being when my mum was murdered when I was around five or six years old. I didn't really understand much then, but seeing your mother's body in a casket, lifeless, really does make you think.

Number two was the sexual assault I experienced from the ages of eight to eleven by one of my father's right hand men. The feeling of his disgusting hands running across my body and his lust filled eyes focused on me, while I just sat there, crying in complete and utter hopelessness never really left me to be honest.

I still remember the threat he would make each time he was done. His hand would tightly grip my throat and I would be told that if I ever told my father or anyone for that matter, he would kill me straight away. My little self would weakly nod my head each time in response, with blood dripping down my small legs,

Nothing felt better though when I decided to kill him with his own gun. The lust in his eyes was replaced with fear one day when I found he had left his gun nearby, and held it right up to the side of his head. It made me happy to see him experience the lack of control I did when he violated my body, even if he just felt it for a couple of seconds, before I pulled the trigger and his heavyweight collapsed onto me.

It made me extremely happy actually, well for a short while anyway. The happiness I felt slowly became replaced with fear. The fear of not having control in a situation again. The fear of not knowing what's going to happen next.

Unfortunately, however, the lack of control I felt in those two instances has come back to hit me with number three. Knowing that my father won't live to see my grow up hurts me so much, knowing I can't do anything but sit back and just watch it happen.

Fuck, it hurts so fucking much.

I step out of the shower, after turning the taps off, and wrap myself in a fluffy white towel. Drying myself completely, I reach for my phone to see that I have a message from Don.

Maybe he wants to spend some time with me before he goes?

Swiping my thumb across the screen, I open the message.

Valentina,

I need you to go down to the docks at Southwell and have a discussion with the Colombians tonight at eleven...

Oh, I was wrong.

They are supposed to be sending a large volume of cocaine, however I am suspected to believe that they are ripping us off with the amount of cocaine that we request. I want you to have a look for yourself, and bring Niccolo too. He's a newbie and I want to test him out. Tell me via message when the job is done, and also tell me how Niccolo goes.