The Fault in Our Sunrise (A JenSoo Fanfic)

prologue

I was 5 years old when I first had a sneak peek of what love could do to a human being. My mother, covered in blood, was curled up on the bathroom tiles, right hand clutching her chest. My father held her tight.

"Why is Mom crying?" I asked my elder brother.

He put his arm over my shoulder. "She had a miscarriage," he answered in a low voice, as if he was afraid our parents could hear him.

I looked up at him with confusion. I didn't know what miscarriage was.

"She lost the baby," he continued, as if he had sensed my puzzlement.

"The baby's dead?!" I asked, disbelief evident in my voice. He shushed me.

I looked back at our parents and only then did I notice that my father was crying too. That's odd, I thought to myself. He never cries.

I didn't know exactly what death was. I knew it was bad, but at the time, I didn't realize that it could be crippling.

So I asked what could possibly be the stupidest question in the whole wide world, "Why are they crying over a dead baby?"

My brother, who was usually impatient, sighed. He didn't answer right away; he rested his cheek at the top of my head. He stayed like that for what seemed to be eternity to me.

"Because they love him," he replied afterwards.

I was 6 when love became even more complicated to me. I was blowing my crying best friend's wound.

"What happened?" I asked as I held her left arm, careful not to touch the wound lest I hurt her more.

She wiped her tears with the back of her right hand. "I fell off my bike."

"Liar," I muttered. I looked her straight in the eyes.

She looked away, and that was how I knew she was lying. "I promise."

"Taehyung pushed you, didn't he?"

"Well... It was an accident."

"No. I saw."

"It was my fault. Really," she insisted. "He wanted to borrow my bike and I didn't let him."

"Because you were using it! Why couldn't he wait for his turn?"

"He's older so I should've let him use it first."

"Do you want me to kick his ass?" I was good at karate. I could take down her cousin.

"NO!" she shouted in protest.

I pretended that I didn't hear. "Or I could ask Hae-in and his friends to beat him up. Teach him a lesson or something." My brother was older, taller and stronger. Besides, he had a bigger group of friends.

"No! Jisoo, please don't. Promise me you won't ever do that." She tugged the sleeve of my shirt.

I was getting so annoyed with her for being so stubborn, but that was nothing compared to what I felt about Taehyung. "Why do you even stick up for your cousin?!" I demanded, standing up as I said this so that I'd tower over her. "All he ever does is hurt you!"

Tears started falling from her eyes once more. She looked at my shoes to avoid meeting my gaze. "He does not mean it."

"No, Jennie! He does not care about you at all!"

But she shook her head in denial. "He loves me."

I was 10 when love shattered me the first time. I felt sick so the school nurse, Ms. Pi, had sent me home.