In the middle of it all

November 5th '58

November 5th 22'58, another day I will not forget. Mum and Tyler have been fighting since the beginning of November, each day worse than its previous one. Sha and I were in our rooms, Jessie was in hers and Tyrell in his. We tried to ignore the noise they were making until it reached a height we had never witnessed before. Tanisha got out of the room to see what was happening.

"Denzel was putting them into bad shit !" yells Tyler. He notices Tanisha coming out of her room and drags her towards him by her right arm. "They even got tattoos because of his immatureness !" He exclaims, shaking his daughter's arm.

"Stop blaming Denzel for everything..." Sighs Janet as she sat down on the couch behind her.

"He needed to be blamed for his actions at one point !" Sha pulls her arm out of his grip and moves away from him. "Because you couldn't raise him properly, he died alone in the streets, Janet ! In the fucking streets at night ! He's reinforcing the black stereotypes, is that what you want for your kids ?"

Janet gets up from her seat and turns around to face her husband."He was murdered, Tyler !" she screams. Her hands were in front of her face, palms facing each other, shaking with agitation. Tanisha's eyes water as she looks at her mother.

"He fucking asked for it !" he shouts back at her leaving her mouth agape. She covers her mouth and gloats at him with wide wet eyes. A tear descended from her left eye.

"Please ! Please, we really don't need this at home !" sobbed Tanisha, getting in between the two adults.

"Mind your business young lady-"

"Don't speak to my daughter that way !" interrupted Janet. Both of their eyes were locked on each other. Different strong emotions were perceived through their eyes.

"I helped you raise her, she's my daughter as well !" argues Tyler, pushing Tanisha away and tightening the space between him and his wife.

"What's happening ?" asks Tyrell, hesitantly walking into the living room. Tanisha looks back and grabs her brother's arm, rapidly directing them into her room. She locks the door behind her.

"Don't worry too much..." She assured him, speaking softly as she was trying to hold back tears.

He sat on her bed. "They're fighting again, right ?"

"It'll end soon, don't worry..." She wiped off the tears of her cheeks and sat down next to Tyrell.

"Should we go to the crib ?" I suggested.

"Anything is better than here right now..." she replied, getting up. We came out of the room and knocked on Jessie's door.

"She could be sleeping.." I say, looking at Tyrell and Tanisha.

"I'll open it... Tyrell, close your eyes." says Tanisha as she turns the handle. "Jessie..." she whispers as she quietly opens the door.

There was nobody on the bed but instead there was somebody on the floor. Tyrell took a shrieked breath in and Tanisha's body froze, her hand still holding onto the round door handle. I get down on the floor and tap her cheekbone multiple times. Seeing no response from her, I look back at Tanisha anxiously. She was blocking Tyrell, behind her, and fear had crossed her face.

I look at the open box of pills that lay near and the situation becomes clear to me. "We should call mom." I say. My head turns back to Jessie's body as I feel movement coming from behind me.

"Please don't." She mumbles.

"Jessie !" I shout. She lifted up her head and recognition dawned back on her face. She dropped her head back down. "Please don't tell Ms. Davis anything." She adds.

"We have to... We... we don't want you to do it again." explains Tanisha with a brittle voice, getting closer to us.

"I won't. I promise. It clearly doesn't work on me..." she says, looking up at the ceiling. Tyrell and I help Jessie up. We carry her onto her bed and sit beside her.

She puts her face into her palms, shaking her head sideways. "I need some fresh air."

"We all do..." confesses Tyrell, looking at his sister.

"We were planning on going to the crib." I add. "That's why we came into your room, to ask if you wanted to come..."

"Let's go then." says Jessie as she slowly gets up. I put her arm around my neck. "I'm fine." Jessie affirmed, taking her arm off my shoulders. We dash out of the room to the entrance door, avoiding any eye contact with Tyrell's parents.

"Where do you think you're going, young lady !" questioned Tyler. Tanisha froze once more.

"Don't answer him." I whisper in Sha's ear. We hurry ourselves out of the house and drive to the crib

***

We came back home late in the evening at around 10. The light in mum's room was off and Tyler's car was gone. We quietly walked into our rooms and went to sleep. I tried to at least. I kept turning under my bed sheets, hoping one of those positions would put me to sleep. I flipped around, gloating in envy at Tanisha. I then stared at the door before getting up and leaving my room. I walked towards the bathroom but I stopped dead in my tracks as I took a glimpse at JJ's room aside from me. A small light escaped from the bottom of the door. I place my hand on the handle yet hesitate before turning it.

"Can't sleep either ?" She asks as I quietly open the door. She was sitting on her bed, holding a book in her right hand.

"Can I ask you something?" I say, slowly shutting the door behind my back.

"Uhuh." She nodded, closing the book in her hand.

"How many... times have you tried to do it...before ?" I ask.

"Once." She signals me to come sit on the bed with her. "I left my aunt and uncle's place because they were threatening to put me in a mental hospital. Cash found out and asked Ms. Davis if she could foster me. Of course she accepted, she's too nice..."

"She also likes you..."

"She's a kind soul..." added Jessie, smiling softly.

"It's been hard for you hasn't it ?" I say, looking down at my knees. I couldn't relate to her pain. I couldn't imagine anyone's pain. I felt pathetic to even try. I had no right to act as if I was really hurt. Others were hurting more than I was, what right did I have to act as if our pain was equal ?

"I lost my brother...and... and Denzel the same night." She began speaking. " I saw my brother die right in front of me but I couldn't do anything. I could never imagine living in a world without them in it." Her voice began to break as she continued speaking. "They were the most precious things I had in my life."

I had nothing to say. No words of comfort came to mind. She had probably already had her dose of sympathetic words from everyone around her. She probably didn't need words as comfort now. I leaned in and hugged her. She stayed silent but I could feel the back of my top steadily wetting. I tightened her even more and her cry became audible.