I don't actually have a name for this, but please go enjoy my story!

Chapter 2: part three (3/3)

He realizes he had fallen asleep amidst his tears, it is now 11 PM. He can't seem to figure out how to fall back to sleep hopefully wake up in the morning, so he decides to work on his project.

He pulls out the book and starts reading it, but he struggling to focus as he feels a strong stinging pain running through his brain. He tries to ignore it but it just makes the pain worse in order to do so. He still feels crustiness on his eyes from all of us crying, his eyelids still feel a little red and tingly. He ends up walking into the bathroom, being greeted by Yoru. I honestly feel sad that the only beings that are worth companionship our animals. I wish I can feel the safe with humans, but honestly, humans are to judgemental. Yet, I cannot find satisfaction in the same way through my relationship with Yoru.

He looked into the mirror, seeing his tear stained cheeks. His eyes are still puffy and swollen, which as a means to make himself feel a little better, he decides to take a washcloth and scrub his face with just water. I don't think I deserve soap, no, I definitely don't, he thought to himself.

He feels a little bit more awake now, but he still feels a stinging sensation in his brain.

He wants to go into the kitchen to make some warm and soothing tea, but he still feeling a bit shaken up after yesterday interaction with his mother. While this is not a uncommon occurrence between he and his mother, he's feeling particularly shaken up now, because it almost seems like, maybe, just maybe, she was finally coming around for once. She knows she's done this before, finally seeming to understand him, and then all the sudden snaps seemingly out of nowhere.

He desperately wants to trust her and her love, but it seems severely erratic. All he wants is for her to understand him and unconditionally love him, and so he could eventually feel healed and not feel like he's constantly in a dark place, frequently on the verge of losing his life but yet feels the one tethered to life which is the guilt trip his mother gave him when he finally admitted to being suicidal.

His mind then happened to wander towards his old middle school friend that he was for bidden to see for a long time, out of fear of he and her going into a romantic relationship. To this day he doesn't get it, because they were only good friends and nothing else. He realized he still feels a bit of loss and even though he did get a chance to run into her, he still Feels as if she has vanished from his life and lost interest in him completely. His mind starts to wander into more distressing areas, she starts to picture her being as abusive and rejecting towards him as his mother, he then starts to fear her. He then starts to quietly tear up, just at the mere thought of it. He starts to feel dizzy, really dizzy, as he drags himself back into his room. He suddenly blacks out and falls onto his bed.

He then wakes up the next morning, at 11 AM, earlier than he usually wakes up, and he feels a little bit refreshed. He is still feeling sour and traumatized from the other night, as well as his spiral down into terrifying thoughts, though he is still able to act a little bit functional today, due to getting a little bit of rest. He still feels angry and bitter and sad, but he manages to pull himself together a bit. He then realizes he's been wearing the same clothing for 3 1/2 days straight, he sniffs himself and wonders can I go like this?

He decides since his laundry is very much do but he does not have the stamina nor emotional capacity to deal with that today, as it's a celebration worth having that he's able to have any functionality whatsoever today at all, that he just decides to wear the same stinky socks, but first spray his feet in Lysol, Rinse the tears off of his face and rinse out his slightly patchy goatee a bit before heading out, as to not have too much of a greasy appearance.

He slips on his sneakers before heading out, but then he realizes he forgot his cash. He sighs in exasperation with himself,as he know has his shoes on. He decides to crawl around instead of taking his shoes off to put them back on, he makes it into his room and searches everywhere. He finds last weeks pair of jeans in his hamper, very much fragrant with who knows what, and that's where he found his yen that he needed.

As he sighs with relief, He starts to crawl out of his room, and then realizes he should shut his door before leaving. He attempts to shut the door while kneeling, which felt physically cumbersome. He then remembers he has literal cash in his hand, and then he swiftly shoves it in to his Crimson hoodie pocket.

He manages to quickly crawl back to the front door, and then gets back up. He says goodbye to his cat as he leaves, but then in that moment, he then realizes he forgot the keys. He quickly runs back into the Corredor and then grab the keys off of the hook, and then rushes back out.

The somewhat fresh air of Neo Tokyo's Metropolitan environment felt actually quite refreshing, in comparison between his harsh emotional tides he deals with on a frequent basis with his mother, his own fluctuations of anxiety and depression, and the foreboding odor of his bedsheets and hamper.

As the refreshing air blows through his hair, the sound of excited city life around him brings him some life and reminderthat there's more to this world than between the four walls of the apartment he shares with his mother, suddenly he feels a sinking feeling.

Oh no! He thought to himself. He then ran that whole block and a half back to his apartment, back through the hallways, and as he does doing so, he feels an ominous construction within the four walls of this building, and almost feels a sort of anxiety as he goes up to his door, as if the very home he eat, sleeps and lives in every single day is a source of absolute terror and anxiety for him. He makes several attempts for the door to lock properly as the key can be fuzzy to deal with, but finally he got it after the fifth try, and then he tried to walk swiftly yet casual, as not cause a commotion, as he was just previously running very hard through the hallways.

He finally makes it back out again, feeling a bit more anxious than before, so he tries to put his thoughts beside it so he can just try to enjoy being outside the house for a bit.

It feels both refreshing yet overstimulating, the bright lights everywhere, the fast and often times loud cars flying by, the sounds of people chattering as they walk past him, not to mention the wind caused by the drag of the traffic beside him as he walks along Neo Tokyo's elevated sidewalks of the modern era.