One More Thing

Chapter Nine: New Rules

I spend the next few days in a blur, questioning my every move over the past week. Why does everyone think I'm into Jude? First Mae, after we went into the shop. And now Sydney. But I'm not interested in the guy.

At all.

"It's not anything you did, per se," says Mae on our way home from school. "It's your energy."

"My energy?"

Mae is big into crystals and new age stuff. So when she says 'energy', I'm always a little skeptical.

"There's this spark between you two," she says. "I don't know how to explain it."

"Well, I'm all ears."

Mae pauses for a moment, deep in thought. Her eyes scan rooftops and lamp posts and clouds, as if they might somehow contain the answers she is looking for.

"At the till, he was looking at you way more than he was looking at me. And you were acting more girly than usual. And there was just a glimmer in his eyes when he looked at you, that wasn't there when he looked at me."

I nod, not sure what to think.

She can't be right, can she? Jude is with Sydney. Yes, she's mean and cold and ruthless, but I'm pretty sure she only directs that side of herself towards me. Around Jude, she is like a different person.

Plus, if she is his usual type, there is an almost zero percent chance that he would be into me. Sydney is beautiful, blonde and popular. She knows how to have fun at school and how to be a normal functioning teenager who does normal teenager things.

I am not only her opposite in a physical sense, but in a social sense too. I'm a shy recluse with one friend. The last party I went to served orange squash and party rings.

I am what most people my age would call a loser.

"So you agree?" Mae asks.

"Agree with what?"

"That there's something going on."

"Going on with who?

"Don't be dim," she sighs. "You and Jude."

"No. Maybe. I don't know," I say.

Mae raises an eyebrow. "You like him."

"I don't even know him, Mae."

"You don't have to know someone to like them," she says quietly.

I bite my lip. I feel bad, bringing up this subject when Mae is still upset about Tom.

"He's nice," I say firmly. "He's got that annoying charismatic thing going on and he sure knows it. But I'm not interested. The two of them are like Barbie and Ken, for fuck's sake."

Mae laughs. "Bit harsh."

"How? They both look like Hollister models. If I didn't know them, I'd think they were from TOWIE or something."

"Valerie, really," says Mae. "You need to stop focusing on the way people look. Look further instead. See what's behind all of that before you make assumptions."

She's right, as usual.

Mae's dad texts her to say that he is running late due to traffic, so we go back to mine. When we open the front door, Lucas is putting his trainers on.

He looks up at us, his eyes widening when he sees Mae. Blushing, he looks at his shoes intently as if he has just discovered the meaning of life.

"You going somewhere, Lucas?" I ask.

"Basketball practice," he says. "Forgot my stuff."

"I didn't know you played basketball," says Mae.

Lucas smiles at the door handle.

"He's been playing for the last year or two," I say. "Ever since he had his growth spurt."

"Yeah yeah," says Lucas begrudgingly, his cheeks now crimson.

"Going to try and join the school basketball team, aren't you?" I ask him.

He nods and smiles at us politely as he heads out the door.

"Sorry about that," I say to Mae, once Lucas has gone.

"About what?"

"Lucas."

"He was perfectly fine, Val. What do you mean?"

"Well, you know," I sigh. "He obviously has a thing for you."

Mae jolts upright, as if the statement shocks her. "What?"

I laugh. "Oh my god. It's so obvious! How can you not see it?"

"I don't know," shrugs Mae. "I guess I just thought he was shy." Her eyes narrow. "Has he said something to you about it? Because, if he has, you really shouldn't be telling me."

"No, no!" I say quickly, because Lucas has never said anything to me about crushes and I doubt he ever will. "Lucas is a private person. He hasn't said anything, don't worry. I just know these things."

Mae nods but her eyes are still suspicious.

Later that evening, once Mae has left, Jude comes over to visit Sydney. As soon as I hear his voice in the hall, my heart starts thudding faster. Not because I like him, but because I am terrified of breaking Sydney's stupid pact.

"Hey, Valerie," he says, before I can reach the stairs.

"Uh, hi," I mutter, looking at the steps and only the steps. Just as well, because Sydney appears at the top of the landing as I speak. She waits for me to reach the top of the stairs before giving me a smug-yet-polite smile.

It reminds me of the look Mrs Greaves, my GCSE maths teacher, gave me in detention once. She was watching me slave away in a dark room, delighting in my suffering, whilst sipping gourmet coffee.

I still remember how good that coffee smelt.

"Hey Juju," says Sydney.

I roll my eyes. Not only is that the cringiest thing I've ever heard, but Sydney seems to go through a personality transplant whenever Jude is around. With me, she is like a viper waiting to strike, silent and sinister. But with Jude, she is all sunshine and rainbows.

"Hey, gorgeous," I hear him reply.

Sometimes I wish someone would say things like that to me.

I go into my room and sit down at my desk. Taking a deep breath, I open my top drawer. Piles of envelopes are stacked like towers, sandwiched together with elastic bands.

I reach for the letter at the top of the pile. The writing on the front is jagged and frantic, like the person who wrote it was in a race against the clock.

I tear the envelope open. I've been putting off doing so for months but I can't put it off any longer.

I need to do this.