One More Thing

Chapter Twenty: Almost

I learn some new things about Jude.

I learn that he likes horror films and yet he is somehow scared of the dark.

I learn that he once broke his nose by falling off a trampoline.

I learn that his grandmother is Spanish, and she came to England in the 1950s when she was pregnant with Jude's mum.

He goes on to tell me that he lives with his parents, who are both in their mid-60s.

"I know, they're kind of old to be my parents," he says, registering the surprise on my face.

"Well, they're not that old," I say politely.

Jude raises an eyebrow and we both burst out laughing.

"They're ancient, you can say it,"  he teases.

I shrug, letting a smile spread across my face. He is looking at me intently now.

"I wasn't exactly... planned," he says. "Okay, that's not entirely true."

"What do you mean?" I ask, confused.

"I had a brother. Well, technically. I never met him. He died when he was like nine or ten, and by that point, my mum was in her forties and suddenly childless. So not long after he passed, my parents decided to try for another child, and luckily for them they were just in time."

"Oh," I say gently. "I'm sorry to hear about your brother."

"It's alright," he says. "It is what it is."

He exhales and looks out into the woods. It's almost silent except for the sound of the wind whispering through the trees, and the twittering of birds high up in the branches. It feels safe and peaceful here, like it was reserved just for us. 

When I look down at the log we are sitting on, I realise that Jude's hand is just inches from my own. It takes all my willpower not to reach across and hold it.

He seems to read my thoughts, because he looks at me and then at my hand. Then his eyes meet mine again and he looks sad. 

"I'm sorry about the Sydney thing," I say, quickly wishing I'd kept my mouth shut.

Jude looks at me quizzically. "Huh?"

"I feel like I was part of the issue," I say. "A big part of it."

"Why?"

"You know... she was jealous. Of you and me."

"What do you mean?" he asks, shifting his weight so that he is leaning slightly away from me.

Come on. You know exactly what I mean.

"Doesn't matter," I mumble. I was stupid for mentioning it, especially at this time.

"Valerie," says Jude. "I like you, and I know you don't mean any harm but it's kind of fucked up that you think you're the reason my relationship broke down."

"Fucked up how?" I ask, feeling my blood start to boil.

"The breakup wasn't about you," he says. "Not everything is about you."

I flinch at that.

"Well it seems like my existence wasn't exactly helping things. Sydney told me many times to stay away from you, so what was I supposed to think? That she didn't see me as a threat whatsoever? Look, Jude. I know I'm not pretty or popular, and I'm probably not remotely your type, but am I really that out of line for assuming that she thought there was something between us?"

Jude looks at the ground and doesn't say anything.

I'm so angry I can hardly breathe. Who does he think he is, treating me like this? He knows exactly why his relationship broke down. Everyone knows, so why does he have to make me feel like an idiot for acknowledging the truth?

"I didn't mean it like that Valerie," he says quietly. "Me and Sydney haven't been good for a while, alright? Besides, I found something out about her."