I held his tube-filled palm as I lowered my head and pressed my forehead against it. I closed my eyes and tried my best to hold the raging river accumulating in my eyelids. I sat there by the hospital bed silently pleading to the heavens to cure him, heal him... Just, save him and let him be with me for just even a second longer. Isn't the technology we have now advanced? Why can't they cure him?! WHY?!
Frustration enveloped my being and grief welled up in my heart as I know there's nothing we can do. The advanced technology isn't enough to keep him alive... And I'm just finding someone to blame even though I know I shouldn't. His faint breathing is evident of how tired he is of fighting this disease his whole life. And though I wanted to hold on to him, I can't. I shouldn't... If I cared for him, this is the least that I can do.
His hand moved ever so slightly and I looked at him. His eyes stared into me, worry evident in it. Gentleness filled his actions as he weakly cupped my face and caressed it. Even as he was on his deathbed, why is he still worried about me..? The tears I held back overflowed at once and the sobs I forcefully quieted down sounded in the room.
"Hush now dear..." His raspy voice comforted me as he wiped the tears I shed. "... Don't cry. I won't be able to leave peacefully if you cry..." My shoulders violently shook and I held his fragile hand still in the middle of wiping my tears away. I stared indignantly at him, tear streaks in my face, and loudly exclaimed that if only that could really make him stay. I know better that it wouldn't hinder his time running up. He even knew it better than I do. He knew that his time was almost up and he could only smile guiltily at me. He took in deep shallow breaths and frowned. His grip on my hand tightened as if releasing the pain through it.
Seeing him like that hurts me. So much so that I feel wretched that I can't ease the pain he's in. He's in so much pain yet he doesn't say it. I have already resolved myself to let him go, to let him be free of the clutches that this disease has on him. Still, it looks like I can't accept the fact that he needed to die at this point for that to happen...
"... Aeron... Can't you just live..?" My voice shook as I questioned him. Tears rapidly ran down my cheeks and I pleadingly looked at him, wishing that was the case.
"... I can't do that Amara..." He broke down all my hope with that statement. "I'm sorry, Amara... I don't think I can keep my promises to you..." He then smiled self-reproachfully and I cried harder than ever. I can't accept it. I really can't... He was the one who took me out of the darkness... I can't let him go...
"Hush now dear... Please don't cry... You're breaking my heart..." Caressing my tear-filled cheeks again, he attempted to comfort me. I can't help but want to hug him. I wanted to feel his warmth. I wanted to remember the feeling he gives for years to come. I wanted to engrave it in my heart. Reaching out to him, I wrapped my arms around his waist and broke down completely. I cried and cried and cried...
"Amara..." He called me softly as he gently ran his fingers through my hair. "I wanted to hear you sing... For the last time..." He requested. He asked me to sing the song I used to always sing for him. "You are my sunshine". He said he wanted to hear that song in his last moments. He said he wanted it to be the last thing he'll remember. I complied too. I wanted my voice to be the last thing in his heart and mind.
Clearing my throat, I started singing.
"You are my sunshine... My only sunshine. You make me happy when skies are gray..." My nose became clogged from crying and just singing that one line is enough to make me on the verge of crying again
"You... Never know dear... How much I love you... So please don't take my sunshine away..." Aeron continued the song as if comforting me and I sobbed and sang along as well. I stopped most of the time though. I cried so much I became breathless.
"The other night dear as I lay sleeping I dreamed I held you in my arms." He patted my head.
" But when I awoke dear I was mistaken so I hung my head and I cried." I hugged him as if that would make him stay.
"You are my sunshine. My only sunshine. You make me happy when skies are gray..." I can feel his smile as he sings.
"You never know dear how much I love you so please don't take my sunshine away..." I sincerely hope you'll stay...
"...Please don't take my sunshine away..." The electrocardiogram by the side of his hospital bed beeped. Its continuous beeping resounded through the white room and I quietly cried as nurses rushed in and tried to save him... It was futile. The monitor showed a painful streak of a line. It didn't change even after they tried to…
He's gone.
Forever...
And even though I wished and pleaded for the heavens to not take him away, my sunshine, he still went and joined them into the horizon.
The glow of the sunset set a melancholy feeling to me. Just as how my sunshine slowly drifted into the afterlife, the sun slowly sets leaving a beautiful view in its wake…
This would be a memory I wouldn't forget
