Rosie's Book

Chapter 13

With Nanuq sat under the beautiful rays of the morning sunlight, I am sat with my back against opposite wall hiding in the shadows. Last night I thought it would be a great idea to spend the night searching through the files to not only help cut down the amount of reading we would all have to do, but to also give myself time to prepare for any revelations we may discover. To say I have difficulties with handling emotions is an understatement. My first season as a wolf was something of legends, there I was thinking my first period as a human was a struggle.

When a teenage or pre teen female enters womanhood, we are told it is a positive right of passage every female takes. Cramps, mood swings, constant flow of blood, nappies (this is what I call sanitary towels), tampons... PLEASE!. What part of all this screams as POSITIVE. Not only that, it also means we are ready to make babies.... BABIES, what right minded teenage female is wanting to fucking reproduce?. I became a human woman at the age of thirteen, so not only did I have to deal with two brothers 'bullying' me, that is how it felt at times, Nanny becoming my new parental figure thanks to my parents being killed, I also now had to deal with my body changing and these emotions that came with it. Anger and confusion took over my emotions for a good year of my teenage life. My body changed from looking like a young boy to curves and breasts, I thought having small breasts would be ok because I could still walk around without a t-shirt on during the hot summers in Romania. HELL NO, Nanny not only screamed at me for being covered in dirt from rolling around in the woods, but for being un lady like for flashing my, and I quote 'Lady peaches' to the world.

"Rosie, you shouldn't be showing your new lady peaches to the world. I don't care who you are spending time with and how dirty you will be getting. You do NOT take your bra and top off unless you are in the shower or bath young lady." Nanny fusses over my body with a tissue, wet from her spit until she is satisfied with her job then throws a bra and t shirt at me. "Now make yourself presentable and follow me into the house. I can see we have to start your etiquette lessons sooner rather than later." With that my life changed as a human for the worse.

Now as a wolf this was similar only one thousand percent more extreme. Not only did my emotions and reactions intensify, so did my thoughts and my body went through so many changes. Within six months of learning about my heritage, the reason why there was a spell on me to prevent the change a voice appeared in my head, I spent months begging my brother to put me in a facility for the mentally unwell. He laughed and told me to deal with it, now however I think he may have regretted that choice, even if my plea for committing me was under the understanding it was a temporary situation.

I can tell you the USA state of Texas regretted it, they may still be rebuilding from the chaos I left in my wake. You see not only was my body burning and my temper growing with each breath anyone around me took, but my sexual needs were off the charts and I knew I would rather sink my teeth into a raw cut of meat than have sex as a wolf, the idea of a male mounting me was enough to.... no I can't tell you what I was thinking. I will tell you I ran away from New Orleans with my body burning from the need to have sex with any male I could find. My body needed to release the tension building, yet my human mind was screaming at me to forget the disgusting needs my flesh and blood was calling out to satisfy. The questions I can hear from you is overwhelming, let me explain why I have just confused you. When I was younger, watching a nature show with my nanny, I heard some strange noises that scared me. It was when I ran into the garden to see Nanuq and Angeni together ( I later found out it was sex) I thought he was hurting her, the sounds she made, the aggression I saw on their faces scared me. Remember I was young and confused, sadly when I discovered they are also related it made me decide NO SEX until marriage. So when a sexual urge appears I usually sink my teeth into a juicy steak, sadly the wolves sexual drive is stronger than my human will power.