Secret Sister

chapter 1:The Past

I'm Jessica I live with my mum Hayley, dad Mark and my boyfriend callettee. Me and callettee have been with eachother since we were ten. I would call us sole mates right? I remember the day we first met eight years ago. Nearly a whole decade. I was at school and this new boy came walking in. The class teacher introduced him. "Everybody meet Callettee." She couldn't say his name right. Everyone turned around. Me included. Our eyes met eachothers. I felt the connection streight away.

A week later we fell into eachothers arms and he swept me of my feet with a huge kiss and declared his love like a romatic love story. Callettee came to live with me after I told him all the awful things that happen at home. It was his way of protecting me I guess. Mum had an awful up bringing witch leads me to think that's the reason she drinks. I was only ten and I started to pick up random people's drinks thinking it was normal. Because that's what she use to do. Growing up and watching someone so close to you stumble everyday and not getting the right words out because they are drunk makes me belive I am broken to. I think I will end up like my mum.

When I reached the age of sixteen I thought I was old enough to go out and drink so that's what I did. Wore lots of make up and a fake ID I was good to go in any bar or club. It was a dangerous road I was taking but it was the road my mother took me. If it wasn't for her I wouldn't be so determined to drink. Its like a fire in my taste buds makes me think i am craveing something good but I'm not im craving something bad.

I came home from school drunk one cloudy day and my mum diddnt like it. "Why the fuck haven't you been at school all day and look at the state of you?" She acts like she cares when she is sober but when she has the bottle in her hand it's no care in the world. I have just sadly inherited that from her. "No I haven't been at school because what is the fucking point. I'm never going to get good grades because no one else in this family did and I am in this state because of you. You make me drink, you make me addicted, you just can't get that around your fucking shitty head." I loved my mum with all my heart deep down but sometimes she needed to realise reality. "Don't you dare speak to me like that." That's funny. "What the way you speak to me. You don't even care about me. The only reason I am still here is because callettee is here." Dad has walked out so many times. He can't cope with mum but he also can't cope with me being like mum. One day he walked out officially but came back only because of me. His exact words were. "Im back for Jessica and not for you hayley we are done i just need to protect our daughter from you." She hated that he was done with her and she also hated that he had to protect me from her. I know she diddnt mean all of it but it will stay with me for the rest of my life. Callettee tries to protect me but he can't. "Baby why you doing this?" I feel embarrassed when I am like this in front of him but he knows why i am like this and he knows it is not my fault. "Because of her."

He gets me upstairs and lays me down to bed. Wispers in my ear. "We are going to get you some help." He turns the light off and a new day comes. I wake up bright and happy. "Why are you so happy?" Faking happiness is the only way I can shut callettee up. If he thinks i am not happy he will be so worried about me and thats not what i want. Callettee feels like he has to follow me everywhere because he cant trust me. He cares for me to much. "Yeah whats wrong with that." Then my mum says. "That's what alcoholics do until they can get another drink." She thinks she knows me well but she really doesnt. "Well your the best teacher of that mum." I walk out. Like everyday callettee follows me. "You dont have to follow me you know. And yest i know you do it because you care. But i will never be able to promise sober." Being sober is what i have always aimed to. But im sixteen and one hundred percent adicted because of my mum. I watched her die so many times and she just comes back to life to do the same old shit. I dont want to end up like that. But im afraid i will.

Callettee is taking me to the doctors against my will but i know my mum never wanted help and i want help. i have followed in the foot steps of my mum for far to long. And in the future i am going to have children i hope and i dont want their up bringing to be like mine. I was totured every night with my mum up in my face shouting abuse at me. She said things like she hates me and that she never wanted me. I was having nightmares everynight that as a baby i was placed on someones doorstep and someone picked me up and cared for me. It felt so real and maybe in a way i wished it was real. I have nightmares about my mum everynight. Bad dreams that she wanted to kill me and sometimes she would threaten me. They were not just a bad dream they were my reality.