Honey Whiskey

The End

"Well, Jonah. How have you been?"

Sitting in the grey armchair, Jonah took a deep breath. He was unsure if he should lie to Brandy or tell the truth. He did have some ups and downs recently.

"I've been doing good. Better at least."

"Better? That's progress."

He would usually work long hours every day and before he even had a minute to himself, he would find his way back to a bar in town. Washing away his feelings with the booze he would ingurgitate every night. Even after spending time with his friends, he couldn't keep his mind busy long enough for him to forget. There was no way of escaping this crushing feeling that's been lingering around for what felt like forever. A heavy load was lodged into his soul. It was dragging him down and there was nothing to do to stop it. Every day, it seemed harder and harder for him to keep on living his life as if nothing had happened. His whole world had changed since Maybelle was gone. He had made up his mind. Jonah wanted to lie.

"She's keeping an eye on me."

"Is that how you feel?"

"Yeah.", He was lying. He didn't want Brandy to ring the alarm if he would have dared to tell her what he was planning to do. His plan was still in the early stages. "I try to keep going, I'm getting there. It's very slow progress..."

"You will succeed. There's no doubt there. Maybe a new activity would help you. Would you like that?"

"Yes, throw it at me."

"I want you to get a journal, nothing very fancy. It can even be a few white pages, a few sticky notes, whatever your heart desires. I want you to write down how you feel every day, even if it is a single word. Anything, but I want to see your progress. On your next visit, we can look over each entry and talk about them. If you want obviously, it isn't mandatory. But, I do think it would greatly help you move forward in your healing process."

"Well,...fine. It's a deal. What if I miss an entry?"

"I won't grade you on it. Do your best."

"Good."

"Then, this is the end of our session. Got anything else you would like to tell me before you go?"

"I don't think so.", he stood up and locked eyes with her for the last time.

"Have a nice day, Jonah."

"You too, Doc."

After his appointment, Jonah made his way back onto the streets of the town. Unknowingly, he started wandering on the sidewalk before he went down a small alleyway. All he could think about was her. It had been hard for him to live without Maybelle. He lost count of the many times he wanted to call or spend time with her. He was unprepared for this. His expectations couldn't be further from the reality that he was now living in. It had brought him to his knees on multiple occasions. He had begged and begged to spend a second more with Maybelle. Or even be able to have a glimpse of her face again. The weight slowed him down as if he was sinking into quicksand, his feet felt heavy. He was in constant slow motion. The numbing pain didn't go away, even after he had tried to talk to his therapist or his friends. Drinking didn't help either, it worsened his melancholy. Crossing in between two houses, Jonah approached the neighboring property. The grass was wildly overgrown, weeds sparse here and there. Old newspapers were left on the concrete stairs leading to the front door. Some were soaked and molding and some were still in good condition. A "For Sale" sign resided on the unkept front lawn. Nobody had been there in a long time. The side door leading to the garage was left slightly ajar. Curious, Jonah slid his way through the opening. Faced with an old car parked in the old garage, he could smell the dust around him. A tool bench stained with paint, oil, and rust was also left in this abandoned house. Humidity was growing and thriving in this environment. His hand grappled the car handle and pulled it. It had been left unlocked and the car keys rested on the front seat. After taking place in the front driver's seat, Jonah entered the keys into the ignition. The leather steering wheel whirred under his palms, mechanically he lowered the windows before reclining the seat. She wouldn't want him to do this, but he could bear disappointing her if it meant he could engorge his lungs with her sweet perfume once more. If it meant he could kiss her lips or even do the most mundane tasks with her again. His love was gone and it was, now, his time to leave.

~

Time seemed to slow down, he kept his eyes closed and laid there. Jonah would gladly intertwine his fingers with Death if it meant he could be brought back to her. He wanted to go home. He needed to. He was homesick. Jonah remembered when he had spent time with her on his birthday last year. As a kind gesture, Maybelle had spent the morning cuddling and kissing Jonah. He knew very well she wasn't the romantic type, but this was her gift to him. In the moment this was, for him, even better than sex. His hands had traveled on her body far and wide. He could remember every nook and cranny of her skin, each curve, each beauty mark. Jonah was brought back into the present as a loud metallic sound could be heard all around him. Curious, he opened his eyes. The exhaust engulfed the air around him. He coughed while glancing rapidly around, looking for what was creating such a ruckus. The garage door had been activated and as it was rolling up, the sun was now peaking through the opening. He had lifted his arms, as he was now facing a man with a baseball bat. Shaking, he coughed before locking eyes with the man.

"Who are you? What are you doing here? I'm going to call the cops if you don't get out of here!"

"I didn't do anything!", his chest was rising rapidly.

"What-..."

The man lowered the bat when he seemed to notice the smell of the exhaust. He could see how scared Jonah was. He couldn't move at all, he was shaking and his muscles were tense.

"Were you trying to kill yourself?"

"..."

"Get out of here. I won't call the cops. Don't come back. I don't need a dead body on my next visit with clients.", he let out a heavy sigh.

The man opened the driver's door and locked eyes with him. Slightly confused, Jonah stumbled out of the car before leaving the garage. He glanced back at the man before walking away. He was unsure of what he was going to do next. After he made his way through town, he ended up on the doorstep of Maybelle's apartment. He unlocked the front door, Jonah strolled inside the dusty apartment. Taking off his shoes, he went to the couch and sat down. He slid his phone out of his pocket before connecting it to the speaker. He clicked play on the song Maybelle had recorded for him. Trash was nesting here and there, empty bottles, old cardboard boxes, and leftovers. The apartment was a mess, Jonah took a few moments to listen to the song. He quickly got up to grab cleaning products and started clearing out the apartment of the dust and the trash. A few hours later, he was scrubbing the inside of the fridge. He threw away everything he could find, who knew if any of it was even edible at this point? Maybelle would have kept her apartment pristine, nothing out of order. He was trying to reach what would have been her expectations. It was still her place after all. It would always be hers. Waking up on the couch, Jonah rubbed the drool from his cheek. He had fallen asleep after he had finished cleaning late last night. His back was painful but he had to get back to work. Stretching, he went back to the bedroom, he searched around for some clothes that weren't dirty or smelled. After finding what he was looking for, he brushed his teeth and used his fingers to comb his hair. He seemed at least presentable and ready to work harder than ever. Jonah was ready to work extra hours at Rust. He needed the money to pay the rent. Nobody else could live here, it was her space. This is where she belonged.