A Clean Pair of Eyes

25: Awakening

SOOKIE

We were waiting for Josh to wake up so it would be clear what happened. I was at the garage when Jason called to tell me the news. He wasn't on duty at the time of the wreck, but a close friend of his who had responded to the call had called him so he could make the notification. Professional courtesy and all that. Jason had shown me the pictures from the scene and seeing it... there was little more horrifying than seeing an accident that could have killed your child.

I was grateful that he was still alive, and from what the doctors were telling me none of his injuries would leave him permanently disfigured or disabled. He was lucky.

Blessed; he was blessed.

I sat beside his bed after Madi went home with her sister. She was going back to Eric's house for the night, which I understood. She would have been at the guest house by herself, and with the way she was feeling I understood why she left with her sister. I felt awful that her mom wasn't there for her. I knew I wished my mother was there for me. Even if she was concerned about Josh I wouldn't let her near him.

It didn't surprise me that Ben was nowhere to be seen. First of all, I didn't call him, but I knew even if I had it wasn't likely he would have come. Ben only came around if there was a chance there was something in it for him. He wouldn't have given a single fuck about whether or not Josh was going to get better.

I had more important things to think about than my scumbag ex-husband.

Josh had a laundry list of injuries that had been pretty shocking to Madi when she first walked into the room. In addition to the surgery he needed to stop some internal bleeding, the airbag deploying had caused some injuries too. Josh's nose was broken, for starters. The force of the airbag had caused a collapsed right lung, so he had a chest tube in. His left ankle was broken. Since he hadn't regained consciousness yet there was no way to know for sure if he was experiencing any neck pain, although none of the scans he'd been put through showed any damage to his spine.

Crash investigators were looking at the scene to try and piece together what happened before the accident. I was angry at myself for not pulling rank as a boss/mom hybrid and cutting back his hours at both jobs. I knew how exhausted he was and I had been warning him for days that he needed to actually sleep on his days off, but he hadn't listened. I was angry at him too for not listening. It was bad enough that he hurt himself, but it was even worse that he could have killed someone.

If Josh had hit a family with a baby in the backseat or a pregnant woman who ended up losing her baby because of the accident he would never forgive himself for it. His ambition and dedication were great, but it was also deadly. I hoped that the accident would teach him that he wasn't Superman.

My eyelids were drooping and I was starting to nod off a little. The adrenaline was finally wearing off. Josh had been moved to a room in the ICU once he was off the anesthesia. He had woken up very briefly, but had essentially gone right back out. It was the best thing for him. He hadn't been awake enough to talk, but at least he had seen my face before he went back to sleep so he knew I was there. I was sure he knew I wasn't going to leave unless someone physically removed me from the hospital after a court order was issued or I was handcuffed and forced out of the building.

I didn't care if I had to sleep in a crappy, uncomfortable chair; I wasn't leaving.

A warm hand touched my shoulder and I jerked awake. I looked up to see Eric standing over me, holding a giant Starbucks cup and a paper shopping bag from a nearby grocery store.

"What's all this?" I asked as I sat up.

"Coffee and real food. If you're going to be here you need to keep yourself healthy," he said. "I've also talked the nurses into getting you a more comfortable chair."