The Man In the Photograph

August 25, 2010

SOOKIE

Almost eighteen years had passed since the last time I looked my husband in the eye. For the last two weeks I had been trying really hard not to get my hopes up too high. Every lead that had ever come across to me, I had done my best to run down. I wasn't a detective; I was a single mom with a daughter to raise. Getting Gen's hopes up just to tell her that it wasn't him wasn't something I ever looked forward to doing. Every time someone claimed to have seen him or someone who looked an awful lot like him, I warned Genesis that it might not be her dad.

Not this time.

This time, I was sure. His eyes told me everything, but it was his voice that had confirmed it. In my dreams he and I still conversed. His body might not remember me, but I was sure his soul did. Even over the phone, there was this connection. He didn't know me, but we talked like old friends. It was... I didn't even know the word for it.

So when I got off the plane at O'Hare Airport in Chicago, it didn't take me long to find him. My husband had always been tall and that hadn't changed. His hair was lighter and had some silver blended into it around his temples and ears, but he looked great. He was tan and tall and as lean as ever. Then he smiled at me and that was when I lost it.

Strong arms swept me up into a hug. I felt things I hadn't felt in almost twenty years. His smell wasn't the same as it was when he left, but I still fit just right. I hugged him back, afraid that if I let him go he might float away again.

"You're even prettier in person," he said.

I laughed because of course he would immediately flirt with me. Eric was a shameless flirt. It was so strange to know he was him, but he had no recollection of our life together. There was no memory of his childhood or the birth of our daughter. I knew he had been working in marketing, and that didn't surprise me at all. Eric had always been a people person. He loved interacting with others and being innovative. Of course he also loves being by the water. He had spent many a summer at his grandparents' cabin in Sweden.

Skinny dipping in local lakes, drinking brännvin, and celebrating Midsummer with his family. Celebrating Midsummer was a tradition that we planned to keep alive with Genesis. It was almost bigger than Christmas in our family. The year after Eric disappeared, Genesis asked if we were still going to have our Midsummer party and I couldn't say no. I knew it meant a lot to her since it was something that meant so much to her dad. It was part of his heritage, which meant it was part of hers. Her middle name, Elyse, came from her paternal great-grandmother.

"I'm so sorry I don't remember you," Eric said. It was so bizarre to hear him speak and have all these memories come back that he no longer shared.

"It's okay." I reluctantly let him go. "Thank you for meeting me here."

"Of course. I can't think of anywhere else I would rather be."

We didn't hold hands like we would have twenty years ago. It was to be expected. If he had tried to hold my hand it probably would have read as forced. The gesture would have been nice, but I was a stranger to him. Frankly, he was a stranger to me, too. The man he was, for all intents and purposes, was gone. Was it possible that lightning could strike twice and we could fall in love again? Sure. Was it likely? Not really.

But I hoped we could at least be friends.

I knew Eric had a life here in Chicago. He had a promising career, a nice apartment, and a dog. He had friends. Now he had a name and an identity. He could have a relationship with his daughter and his granddaughter, and none of it had to include me.

It was a mixed bag of emotions. I loved him. I would always love him. He was the father of my child and I had dedicated a lot of my life to him, even if he wasn't there to see it. Eric Northman would always mean so much to me, regardless of whether or not he felt the same way.