The Man In the Photograph

August 28, 2010

ERIC

I became aware of the world when I smelled the delicious aromas of coffee, cinnamon, and vanilla. Those weren't smells I usually smelled before I even got out of bed. Then the bacon hit me. I rolled over in bed and stretched. Sookie had been staying in my guest room since she arrived three days ago. It was easy to see why I had been attracted to her. She was a beautiful woman. That hadn't changed at all, as far as I could tell. She had brought old photos, including our wedding pictures. Since then she had cut her hair so it was shorter and sassier. There wasn't a hint of blue eyeliner anywhere near her eyes anymore either. She was still as curvy has she had been, which I found I liked.

It wasn't something I liked in general. The women I had been dating over the last few years were more the tall and narrow sort. Sookie was petite and curvy, and yet I was hard pressed to find anything wrong with the way we seemed to fit together in the instances when we hugged each other. I had thought about what it would feel like to kiss her but I hadn't actually done it yet. I wasn't sure if she wanted me.

Over dinner the night before she had told me about her near engagement a few years back. Hearing that gave me pause. Not because I felt betrayed by her, but because I felt guilty for holding her back. What we had in the past was in the past. There was a possibility we could build something new, but the things we once had... that was gone. Even if I got my memories back I wasn't sure that would put my heart back the way it was.

The whole fucking thing was so complicated.

I got out of bed and went to the ensuite so I could brush my teeth. While I was in there, I also peed. I had no idea how long Sookie had been awake. It was obvious she was a morning person. I was more of a night owl. I learned that was nothing new. While her friends had complained about how their husbands never wanted to get up in the middle of the night with the baby, I was the first one out of bed eight out of ten times.

When I left my bedroom that morning I was impressed by the balloons floating in the living room. Red. My favorite color. Apparently that wasn't something that amnesia could override. I parted the red ribbons hanging from the balloons to go into the kitchen. Sookie was sitting at the island with a cup of coffee and a newspaper. Her hair was already done, suggesting she had been up for quite some time.

"Good morning," I said.

Her head snapped up and she smiled at me. She was beautiful. Truly, she was.

"Happy birthday! I hope you don't mind I made you the breakfast you always wanted on your birthday in the past," she said.

"I smell a lot of good things in this kitchen, so no, I don't mind."

"Coffee?" Sookie slid off the stool she had been sitting on.

"Please."

She hustled around the island to get a mug and fill it for me. When Sookie brought it to me, she pushed up on her toes to kiss me. Seeing an opportunity that I shouldn't let go to waste, I turned my head and got her lips. She made a surprised noise but she left her lips pressed to mine. I felt something I wasn't exactly expecting but I wasn't exactly surprised by either. A spark. The kiss ended sooner than I might have liked.

"You pull moves like those and I'm likely to think you're not really suffering from amnesia," she said.

"Something the other Eric used to do, huh?"

"Oh yeah." Sookie grabbed a pair of oven mitts and opened the oven.

I groaned when I saw the cinnamon rolls inside.

"They've got bacon in them," she said.

"If I wasn't already married to you I might propose," I replied. Those had to be made from scratch. I had never seen cinnamon rolls with bacon in a Pillsbury can before.

"How do you think I got you the first time?"

I laughed and said, "Good point. Thank you for making those for me. They smell fantastic."

"I hope you still like them."

"I don't think I'm going to have a problem." I got down a pair of plates for us. "So... fifty. I guess I'm officially old now. I thought I had a few more years before I was officially old."

"Oh nonsense. Fifty isn't what is was when our parents were fifty."

"Sure it is. We just fool ourselves into thinking it isn't."

I was going to be a grandfather in a few weeks. This was not the time to try and convince myself I was still a young buck with the world at my feet. Like it or not, I was getting older. What I needed to decide was how I wanted to spend my golden years. Did I want to stay in Chicago or did I want to see what I could salvage in San Diego? I wasn't naive enough to think that Sookie and I could pick up where we left off, but I liked the idea of getting to know her and our daughter better. It would be harder to do that if I stayed in Chicago. Even with the invention of social media and webcams, it wouldn't be the same as meeting for dinner or taking walks together or trying to share silence.

A lot could be learned from a shared silence. It was underrated.

Sookie dished up the bacon cinnamon rolls. We sat down together at the island.

"Do you have plans for today?" she asked.

"I wanted to spend the day with you, if you don't mind."

"Me? You don't have friends you want to spend the day with?"

"They understand that you're here and you're the top priority right now."

"You don't want me to meet them?"

"I wasn't sure if you would want to."

"Eric, I would love to know more about the life you've been living for the last eighteen years." She seemed pretty genuine about that.

"Well, a friend of mine was talking about maybe going to a Cubs game today. Are you interested?"

"Sure," she agreed.

"Are you really interested?"

"Honestly? Baseball isn't my thing," Sookie confessed. "But it's your birthday. If you want to go to a game, we'll go. I don't hate it, Eric."

I smiled and couldn't help kissing her again. I actually really liked kissing her. She tasted like the sticky, sweet cinnamon roll. That was never a bad thing. That time she kissed me back. That spark got a little brighter. With any luck it meant all hope wasn't lost for us.