Can You Hear Me? | Book I

IX.

Malikah Jeremiah
Friday, April 7, 2017
Manhattan, New York

I assume last night was one of those nights when I couldn't sleep. Because here I am in the wee hours, putting on my shoes and jacket to walk outside.

I quietly opened the door to the room I shared with Jayceon and tipped toed out of the room. I closed the door and made my way downstairs. I grabbed the keys to the Airbnb and put them in my jacket pocket. I quietly opened the front door and stepped out. I made sure to lock the bottom lock before quietly closing the door.

I turned around and let out a semi-loud sigh as I walked down the stairs. I started on my five-minute walk toward the central park. I took in the scenery as I walked down the sidewalk. You can say that being outside is more of a safe space for me, especially when I need to recharge and clear my mind.

After more than my five-minute walk, I finally arrived at Central Park, but I ended up sitting on top of the rocks at Heckscher playground. I considered this my secret hideaway for moments like this since I didn't have one back home in Chicago. I would've gotten snitched on as soon as the people in the neighborhood would've seen me sneak out.

I inhaled and exhaled before letting out a peaceful sigh. I felt a gentle breeze hit my face, which made me feel a bit of relief. It felt nice to be in my happy place after everything that has happened these past three and a half months.

Can I be honest with you for a moment?

I'll take that as a yes. These past three and a half months have been utter chaos, and I wish to disappear. I'm not the type to sit and overanalyze my entire life story. But with everything from my past resurfacing. I've been doing more waddling in my grief and overanalyzing everything that has gone wrong. And because of that, Ivy's word from Sunday keeps replaying in my mind.

"You say that every time. Just realize that you can sit and talk things out with both parents. Some don't."

Part of me knows that Ivy's right, but I don't think I'm ready to face my biological mother yet. The turmoil that I endured at the tender age of six years old. I need a bit more time to heal from the pain that she caused.

Not to mention, I was adopted by my father's wife once my mother lost custody of my siblings and me. I have nothing horrible to say about her because she accepted me as her own, which she didn't have to do. She showed me the love I didn't receive from my mother, who birthed me. So for that, she deserves the world and more.

Another thing on my mind recently is that my oldest brother reached out to me on social media. I was baffled by how he found me, but then I realized that he and I both do YouTube, so it was only a matter of time before he would've come across my channel. And truthfully, I don't know to approach the situation, or in this case, I don't know if I want to approach it.

No matter which option I choose, I'll still be in the position of, I can't win for losing. I guess this is a dilemma I have to deal with myself.

I slipped my phone out of the pocket of my jogging pants. I hit the power button to check the time to see that it was close to three o'clock in the morning. I slipped the phone back into my pocket and sighed. I rubbed the side of my temple before getting up. I climbed down the rocks at Heckscher playground and started on my journey back to the Airbnb.

On my walk back, I thought about what Ivy said Sunday, and I might consider it. But for now, I'll take baby steps toward it. About five to ten minutes later, I arrived back at the Airbnb. And I saw Ivy sitting on the porch. I walked up the porch. Then I sat down next to her and nudged her.

Ivoreé turned her head and raised an eyebrow. "Where are you coming from at this time?" Ivoreé asked.

I chuckled. "I went to see all that nature has to offer," I answered.

Ivoreé laughed. "I knew that. But that still didn't answer my question." Ivoreé commented.

I sighed. "I know it didn't. But I went to the park to clear my head." I admitted.

Ivoreé nudged me. "Want to talk about it?" Ivoreé asked.

I sighed. "Not really, but thanks for asking, little one," I answered.

Ivoreé rolled her eyes. "I'm not a little one," Ivoreé grumbled.

I put my arm around her neck. "Whatever you say. But since I'm out here, why are you up this late?" I asked.

I felt her lay her head on my chest. "Trying to make sense of how my life changed within a week," Ivoreé answered.

"When you say changed, what do you mean by that?" I asked.

Ivoreé turned towards me. "For fifteen years, I've longed to feel her touch and hear her voice, and now I have it and don't know what to do," Ivoreé answered as her voice cracked.

I pulled Ivoreé into a comforting hug. "Take baby steps," I murmured in her ear.

Ivoreé sniffled. "But I can't keep avoiding her," Ivoreé muttered.

"That's why I said take baby steps," I murmured.

Ivoreé pulled away from the hug. " And what is taking baby steps supposed to do?" Ivoreé asked.

I shrugged. "It'll help you approach the situation more effortlessly," I answered.

Ivoreé groaned. "I guess I can take baby steps," Ivoreé grumbled.

I gently grabbed Ivoreé's face and made her look at me. "Hey, promise me this if you take baby steps with what's going on with you, I'll do the same with my situations." I implied.

Ivoreé stuck out her pinky finger. "Pinky promise?" Ivoreé asked.

I wrapped my pinky around hers. "You have my promise, little one," I answered.

Ivoreé slightly pushed my head before standing up. "I'm not a little one. And let's get in the house before everyone wakes up." Ivoreé implied as she held out her hand.

I chuckled as I stood up and grabbed her hand. "Whatever you say. And not you afraid of getting caught." I remarked.

Ivoreé rolled her eyes and opened the door. "Me afraid? Yeah, right," Ivoreé muttered.

Both Ivoreé and I walked into the house, and I quietly closed the door behind us. I then took the keys out of my jacket pocket and sat them on the table near the door. I then felt Ivoreé tug at my jacket.

"Let's go," Ivoreé murmured.

I quietly chuckled. "Well, there goes me every convincing you to sneak out," I mentioned.

As we both walked up the stairs, Ivoreé cut her eyes at me, and I silently laughed. We got to the top of the stairs, and then I walked her to the room she shared with Ariellé. I pulled her into a hug before whispering in her ear.

"Promise me you'll go back to sleep and not let whatever is bothering you keep you awake because I know you, and I know it's not just that," I mentioned.

I felt Ivoreé sigh.

"You have my word," Ivoreé remarked.

I pulled away and kissed her forehead. "Thank you, now get some rest, little one," I muttered.

Ivoreé rolled her eyes. "Again, with the little one phrase," Ivoreé muttered.

"I love you," I remarked.

Ivoreé rolled her eyes and opened up the door to the room. Ivoreé turned around and chuckled and then walked into the room.

Once I heard her door close, I headed toward the room I shared with Jayceon. I opened the door and walked in, then quietly shut the door behind me. I took my jacket off and tossed it into my suitcase. Then, I took off my shoes and laid back on my bed. I stared at the ceiling while my mind tried to figure out why Ivoreé was up.

Authors Note: This chapter is long overdue, and writer's block played a part in the delay of all three sections. But I have some good stuff planned, so stay tuned.

So you've met Malikah. What do you think of him so far?

What do you think of Malikah as a person?