Letters That Maybe On Rhyme

I smile to feel happy.

I don't smile because I'm happy. I smile to feel happy.

The cacophony of my thoughts echoed in my silence. It reminded me of what I had forgotten for a long time now. "What is it like to be golden?"

I smile to feel happy.

Happiness is said to be a state of mind. In some way, this is my mechanism to get through a 24-hour trip around the sun. I cannot figure out why I feel this way, but that only makes me somebody pretending to be in someone's soul.

I envy people who can fall in love with the beauty of every little creature in this chaotic world. And make art out of their words.
I envy people who can run uphill with kites in their hands. They are the happiest.
I envy people who have already decided where they want to be.

And there's me, seventeen, spending my last year of high school and having yet to figure out what her life will be in five or ten years. I'm hoping she'll smile like a kid again.