my aroace life

~why cupid?~

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Name: Evie
Height:medium
Sexuality: ?

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It was late at night and I couldn't sleep. I even had school the next day which wasn't the best for me as my sleep sqedual if fu**ed up anyway. I decided to go onto Google and search up "Whats your sexuality? Quiz!" As I could get my mind off it. I took a quiz answering all the questions truthfully and pressed the button that said "finish quiz". I hit and saw the results.
"Your sexuality is asexual! You are either feeling little or no sexual attraction to anyone."
I didn't believe it at first so I took another quiz but the same results came out!
I then decided to talk to somebody who was asexual themselves. My sister.
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(On discord)
Evie: "Hey Megan I think I might be asexual."
Toast: "that's completely fine do you not feel any romantic attraction either or is it just no sexual attraction?"
Evie: "no its kinda romantic too."
Toast: " Well if you don't feel either I think you might be aroace instead."
Evie: "what does that mean?"
Toast: "it means you don't feel sexual or romantic needs to be in a relationship"
Evie: "oh now that I think about it you might be right. Thanks"
Toast: "np. Don't hide it"

I layed in my bed thinking about it. "What if I am aroace?" One part of my head told me.
"What if I just haven't found the right person yet?" Another part of me said.
I had so many questions but I came to the conclusion that I was officially aroace.

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(3 weeks later or so.)
I was walking around school getting to my class. I had geography last period on Friday. It was with one of my favourite teachers though and I had two of my friends on my table. One of them was keira infact!
I was sat there. Then suddenly I felt something bad. "Keira has a boyfriend. She's happy right? I hope she is after her other break up. Charlie's got a girlfriend now. He tells me about her and I message her on tiktok too!"
I started to go deeper into the subject as I felt like I couldn't climb out of it and stopped writing in my book.
"Why is everybody else in relationships? Why can't I be with a boy? Why must I be DIFFRENT?!"
I felt like I wanted to cry but I couldn't! Why was cupid doing this to me...