Unfolding

Dreadful Mornings

alex......alex.....Alex..ALEX!!! I jolt awake, almost screaming. I'm sweating and crying, but mostly sweat. Gross. "Ughh" I groan as I wipe off my face. "Shower time, again...for the third time." I have woken up to the same nightmare, the whole week, and at least three times, in one night. They started the day after the accident. I grab my towel and some clothes. "What time is it?" I grab my phone off the bathroom counter, after setting my other stuff down. "4:27 a.m." also why did I keep my phone in the bathroom? It's one of two possibilities: one, I was too tired, or two, I knew I'd be back in here. Maybe it was both. I finish that thought as I turn on the water, and feel the water progressively get more hot. It starts to feel like it's burning, but I can't tell. I close my eyes and start to zone out, as I usually do. Except this time, when I open my eyes, I wasn't in the shower. I was dressed...and outside, in a field. No...it's that field. No! I can't be back here! It's gone, it was destroyed, gone! What the hell am I doing here!? I start to run to the treehouse, I don't know why. It's like my body has a will of its own. When I got there, I just stopped. I couldn't move. I felt someone touch my shoulder, but when I tried, and failed, to turn around, I......woke up? I'm back in the shower, but on the floor, and my head hurts. Did I pass out? Am I just too tired? Whatever I washed off the sweat, I'm getting out. I checked the time again. "What the hell!? It's 5:35 a.m.!? Holy hell..." I set my phone down and put on my light brown sweater, the one with the white shirt under it, and my black jeans with big holes in the knees, and one on the right thigh. I dry my hair a little more, and walk out to the kitchen for coffee. I know it won't help anything, but I don't really care. I turn on the Keurig, and let it make the weird cleaning noises that it makes before grabbing my coffee pods and mug. French vanilla or mocha? I don't feel like either of these..."french vanilla it is." I sigh-yawn? I was in the middle of sighing, and then I yawned. Weird. I put in the pod and put my mug under the spot that pours the coffee. I definitely don't need a big cup, I've already had too much coffee. But I also don't want such a small amount...middle I guess? I go to press the middle one, but either out of habit, or I just saw it wrong, I pressed the big cup. "Damn it...whatever, it's not like I have to drink it all anyway." Even though, I know that's what's gonna happen. While waiting for it to fill, I grab the creamer from the fridge. I've seen people that keep it on the counter. Gross. I grab my coffee and pour a small bit of creamer in the cup, almost spilling it in the process. I'm a clutz. I try to take a sip. Ow, it's hot. "Idiot." I mumble to myself with a small laugh. Do I want to make breakfast? Am I even hungry? I'm not sure. I'll eat when my stomach hurts. Or I could eat now. Nope. Don't feel like it. I check to see if anyone messaged me, don't know why I didn't earlier. -2 new messages-

Cassie: Alex, answer my calls. Or text. Just answer me. You have no reason to be upset at me, I didn't do anything. And you know it, I didn't kill them. It was years ago anyway! You did, all of that is your fault. You've just been hiding, all sad and shit, just stop it. They weren't even important to any of us anyway.

I stopped reading there. Why can't Cassie just get off my back!? They know it's their fault! I didn't do it...I didn't. And I have every right to hate Cassie. Is the other message Cassie too? No. It's a spam. Good, I don't want anything to do with Cassie anymore. And I wish things didn't happen, I wish we were still freinds. And that the treehouse was still fine. I don't wanna think about this right now. I need to take my meds. Speaking of meds, my coffee is probably cooled off some, I'll take them with this. I grab my anxiety/depression pills and pour out three. I don't understand why they make me take three, I thought the normal dose for pills are usually like one or two. Whatever, they help, I take them. Now I'm going to go and try to work on my book. The raven. So far it's just some sappy love story because it's the only thing I know how to write, because that all I was allowed to see. My grandma was weird. I wonder what it would have been like living with my mom, or dad. Whatever, too late for that anyway.