The shadows

ch7

Naruto broke down in his mindscape. He was wailing and crying while curled into a ball. Kurama was trying to comfort him, but he was non-responsive. He took a human form and slowly scooped Naruto up and into his chest.

He kept whispering comforting words into his ear while robbing his back until he calmed down. When he finally calmed down, a little Naruto said. "Kurama, I finally remember how they learned to make those lasting scars."

Kurama just hugged him tighter. He was the only one who knew why Naruto always wore that ugly jumpsuit or why he always wore a Henge when he wanted to bathe with others for a long time. Of course, Tsunade became aware of his scars later in life but somehow knew not to confront Naruto.

Naruto was ashamed. The tortures had led him to believe that no one would accept him. He felt his body to be ugly. The words carved into his skin reminded him of that. Ugly, fat, disgusting, whore, monster, and so many other words.

Naruto might not have remembered this memory or the ones that also unlocked. Memories of torture and rapes and constant abuse. But he was still living with the scars. He would see the scars, but he couldn't remember how he got them.

Later in life, it led to Naruto's many problems. He would self-harm and starve himself. He wouldn't take care of his mind or body. It was during his trip with Jiraiya that he was discovered.

He was alone in their hotel room and went to the bathroom to cut himself, but his hand slipped, and the cut was too deep. He tried to conceal the wound but was too dizzy from the blood loss and passed out.

Hours later, he was discovered by Jiraiya. When he woke up, he was in his bed in the hotel room and Jiraiya was passed out next to his bed in a chair. His wounds were bandaged, and Jiraiya was holding his hand in his sleep.

He felt panic rise up in him. He was discovered. He wanted to run away to hide, but his panicked chakra woke the man. He held Naruto down, and then they had a long conversation. Naruto didn't want to think about it in detail. Still, he remembered a lot of shouting and crying from his side and patience from Jiraiya.

He told him how he would wake up in his apartment some days having no idea of the previous day only to see new scars on his body. He thought that he was going crazy. Maybe he really was a monster. He told him everything he remembered.

In the end, he was just sobbing in the man's chest. Jiraiya was not an emotional man. He was never gentle with him or tried to baby him. But that day was an exception. He let Naruto cry himself to sleep.

They never talked about that day from the next day and almost acted like before. Jiraiya kept an extra eye on him; whenever Naruto wanted to relapse, he would help him back. Their relationship grew deeper this way.

He was the first person in Naruto's life whom he could talk to without fear of being judged. Jiraiya helped him slowly come out of his old habits. He would check Naruto's body every day to ensure he wasn't cutting and watch him during meals to ensure that he ate. By the end of the trip, he wasn't entirely out of his habits, but he was doing better.

It took a while for Kurama, but he finally noticed his kit had fallen asleep. He knew he would dissociate for some time, trying to separate himself from the memories. In the end, he had to accept the memories to start healing.

Kurama just wished there was more that he could do. He wanted to hurt all those who dared harm his child. During the war, they grew closer, and Kurama thought of Naruto as his own. His to protect and nurture.

He would destroy anyone who dared hurt his kit, and nothing would keep him from being at his side. He believed he finally knew how his father felt about him and his siblings. He might not have given birth to Naruto, but he has been with him since he was in his mother's womb.