As It Is

Affection

((Thank you to everyone who left comments on this story. Your comments are invaluable to me and really inspired me to keep going with this story! I wasn't able to reply to everyone but I've read your comments at least dozen times over. My words can hardly express how grateful I am! This story has a special place in my heart, one that somewhat reflects my own experiences with toxic people and how I convinced myself to overcome them.))

Morning light filtered through the lace curtains. Still half-asleep, your mind processed the warmth beside and the fabric of Shay's rough shirt beneath your fingers. You opened your eyes and took in the softness of his expression. Last night, he looked as if he were haunted by something. But now, in the faint glow of morning, he was at peace. He was curled up on his side, mere inches from you.

As your mind cleared and your palm took in the firm muscles of his chest, your face caught fire. This wasn't your first time sleeping next to him. In fact, you slept beside Shay for what had to have been a month while sailing from city to city. But now, in this moment, his scent and the heat that enveloped you were all so familiar and comforting and you could only describe it all as euphoric.

You drew in your bottom lip, suddenly remembering how handsome he had looked last night with his hair tied back. Even now lying next to you, void of his jacket and gear, wearing only his shirt and breeches, you felt an intimacy you hadn't felt before.

You rolled onto your back, trying not to groan. You needed to put some space between your feverishly hot body and his. This was Shay, after all. He meant so much to you: a friend and companion. Maybe he meant more to you. More than you were capable of understanding until now. Affection. Admiration.

Your movements must have woken him because Shay took down a deep breath and sighed. He groaned, brows furrowing before letting his eyes pry open. He glanced over at you, a smirk widening. "Mornin, lass..."

"Morning," you breathed as he rolled out onto his back and stretched.

His muscles coiled tightly as he reached up and grabbed his pillow and arched his spine. His groaning sounded too intimate to your ears.

You quickly averted your attention to the window.

He finally sat up and rubbed his palm across his jaw and lips. The emptiness that settled in his gaze, the same barren expression he held last night, was too painful to bear. "Don't suppose you've any ideas on what we should do next."

You stated the first teasing thing that came to mind, "You can start by fixing your messy hair." You tugged at the black ribbon that had come loose during the night.

Shay's lips parted, a sloppy grin as he rolled his eyes and turned his head away. "Aye, and it looks like you haven't taken a brush to yours either."

You quickly sat up and shoved his shoulder. "I was too busy saving your sorry ass."

Shay laughed abruptly and loudly. "The mouth on this girl. I leave you alone for a few months and you come back with an attitude and the words to match." He teasingly shoved you back but then his expression softened, eyes lingering with yours.

Your brows arched upwards. You brought your fingers to trace the scar that curled along his cheekbone, skipping his eye, and trailing through his brow. He was lucky not to lose his eye. He was lucky the gunshot hadn't killed him.

His voice was softer, a tender edge to it, "It's nothing, lass."

"If I ever see them again I'll kill them." Your voice wavered, the surge of emotions unbearable. To think Liam would turn so quickly on his own friend.

A knock rattled against the door, jolting you to the edge of the bed with nervous unease. The door opened and Cassidy beamed brightly, "Shay? Breakfast is waiting." She walked across the room towards the bed, chuckling when she saw you. "Should've known I'd find you here. This one hadn't left your side the whole time you were ill."