Based on true thoughts: How I feel

My Misery

I sometimes wish I could go back in time and fix my mistakes or prevent them from happening but that's not how life works

I sometimes wonder what I did wrong to deserve this life. What did I do wrong

I sometimes think I don't fit in and I have to change who I am just for them. Yea I do, but I don't recognize who I am, I sometimes wonder; who am I impressing, not me

Yea I tried liking someone but didn't go as I wanted it to. He was fair looking, when we talked it had gotten me excited, but turned out he liked someone else; we consider each other as friends now

I have friends that care for me, but doesn't really seem like it; maybe they are all being fake

When I'm alone I cry, and sometimes think things that won't do any good

I sometimes wished I could end myself, but I think about how I want to fullfil my dreams and how I want to keep writing and I am also not gonna do it for one of my close friends

I hope one day I could met him. I saw him as an older brother I never had; I trusted him, I told him everything; I could rely on him. I've told him how I felt before and he said by my side even though I couldn't really have him by my side

Since I didn't want to end myself because of what I've dreamt, I sometimes think about running away far away. I got nowhere to go but as long as I get away from the people I know then I'll be fine

And for as long as I know I'll fake a smile even though I'm hurting inside. And I'll pretend to be strong when deep down I'm not

I'll feel torn up inside but I won't show it...on the outside