Based on true thoughts: How I feel

wrong feelings

When you say you like someone...do you ever think about it and then outta nowhere you change your mind but it's too late to go back cuz you had already told that person? I have...I made a mistake there. I regretted telling that person. To be honest I don't really know how I feel at the moment. I say I want to focus on myself but for some reason it's not happening.

When I said I regretted telling someone I like them I wasn't quite sure why I even said I liked them when my feelings aren't clear.

Recently that person asked me out...I said yes. Then after 2 days that person wanted to see me so we arranged to see each other at my house. I was happy at first but when he arrived at my house I didn't feel happy how I did before.

We were barely talking and he was really touchy with me and I didn't like that and he also tried to kiss me but I didn't let him and I even told him I didn't want to kiss him. time later he was so desperate to kiss me I tried to pull my head away but he kept on pulling it back to face him. I didn't look at him straight in the eyes. For some reason he leans in and pecks me on the lips. I wasn't happy he did it so he made me feel more miserable than I had already felt. Just to point it out...he took my first kiss and I didn't imagine it like that

When a girl wants to have her first kiss...don't they want to give it to someone special that they love...I wanted that but it didn't happen

When he left I was so relieved

1 day after that happened I told my mother what had happened...by the way I'm only 13...anyways...when I had told my mother she told me to tell him what I really felt...so I did and he told me he was that type of person that's too touchy and I didn't want to be with someone like that...he told me he would back off if I wanted to...so I told him I would be alright...so he had told me we could stay as friends...so I guess we are but a feeling inside was telling me I didn't want to talk to him again

So now I don't talk to him

I want to focus but I don't know why I can't even do that...but i really hope and want to just focus on myself now.

I just don't know why but when I write what I had felt and what had happened to me...it makes me really happy