Diana sighed wearily and laid her head on her hands. She had been sitting at the dressing table for half an hour, staring into the void. Her head still ached. The Spencers' tiara, though a lovely addition to the wedding dress, was totally unsuitable to wear all day.
Diana's younger brother Charles, of course, had got pills from somewhere, but so far they were not helping much. More than anything, the girl wanted this endless day to end. It seemed that Diana had had fewer pictures in her entire life than had appeared in today's day. Even hours later, she thought she could hear the clicks of the camera shutter and the shouts of the crowd.
"What happens if they don't like me?" thought Diana, closing her eyes.
Her mind was already conjuring up images of the Queen saying that Diana was no longer entitled to appear in public with Charles, of him saying through his own teeth that he had a better opinion of her abilities, of the news anchors reporting that people were disappointed in the princess.
Why such thoughts had entered her mind in the first place, the girl could not understand.
"I'm just tired, I need to rest," she said to herself.
But Diana knew that for the time being she could only dream of sleeping. There was one more, most important "thing" to do, and the thought of it had been haunting the new princess since the morning. In theory, everything sounded logical: Prince Charles is the future king, he needs an heir, for the birth of which he got married. But there was no room in the theory for the worries and insecurities that were eating Diana up from the inside. There was no room for pain, for fear. Somewhere on the edge of her mind flashed the idea that Charles wouldn't care who exactly became his wife, the Crown needed an heir - that was all anyone cared about.
"This is going to hurt." - said Diana to herself. In her mind, the phrase was not even a question, rather a statement of fact, some kind of infallible truth.
The girl remembered talking to her older sister Jane a fortnight ago. Then she had come to visit Diane because she thought her younger sister would need support during the difficult time before the wedding. Diana was very absent-minded all evening, answering questions out of the blue and as if she was thinking intensely about something.
— Is something wrong, Dutch? - Jane asked affectionately.
— What makes you think that? - Diana asked, blushing for some reason. — I can see that," Jane smiled slightly, "tell me, what's bothering you? — Nothing," Diana said quietly.
— Do you know that you can't lie?
A few seconds passed in tense silence. It already seemed to Jane that they change the subject when Diana suddenly blurted out:
— You're married, aren't you!
— Good thing you noticed, Dutch, it's been almost five years.
— You mean you..." Diana bit her lip and blushed even more.
— Yes? - Jane said uncertainly, a little startled by her sister's reaction.
— Never mind, forget it.
— Dutch, be straight with me, you're scaring me.
There was another long pause, during which Jane kept her eyes on Diana, crimson with embarrassment.
— I just...," she finally began, without raising her gaze to her older sister, "I just wanted to ask... you've certainly had...
— What do you mean?
— You understand.
— I swear to you, I have no idea what you're talking about.
For a moment Diana thought it would be better to ask about whether she and her husband were fighting, whether they were thinking about divorce, whether they wanted children, in general anything other than what was really bugging her. However, she decided that then the whole spectacle would have no purpose, and Jane had never been a fool, she would have guessed.
