you lured me in

2x01. You were the only reason I had to go on

"what the fuck Jake?" Devon can't help but let out loudly. Forgive him, he's slightly pissed.
"I know, Pam and Larry said no." Jake says looking apologetic over the video call

Frustrated, Devon reponds: "I'm cooking for you! Would a text or heads up have killed you?"

'Shit. He's pissed.' Jake Wheeler can see it in how tight his eyes are and how the phone seems to be slightly shaking meaning Devon's hands are trembling badly.

"I know, I just got distracted and-"
"No, it's happened every other weekend for SIX fucking months Jacob...that's 12 weeks. 12 dates. 12 opportunities for us to be together that you've ditched."

"Wait no it can't be 12..." the curly haired boy trails off.

'I can't, I have so much homework.'
'You can't come, I don't know what we'd even do.'
'This weekend is no good babe.'

"You couldn't even give an excuse for the last one, Jake!" It cannot be said that Devon Evans doesn't have the patience of a saint but fuck even he can snap.

Is something wrong with him? He thinks as he looks at his boyfriend fumble for an excuse.
Does Jake not love him anymore?
Is Devon not worth fighting for?
...maybe not it seems.

Devon has been through a lot but one thing his mama taught him is never beg for love or to be in spaces you're clearly not wanted.

He loves Jake but fuck he's so tired of feeling unwanted.

"...Dev?" Jake calls out, he doesn't know how to explain that he doesn't feel good enough for him. That his life is crazy and he cancels or doesn't show up because it's better if Devon is as far away from Jake as possible.

He sees...something flicker through his boyfriend's face before it's back into a neutral expression.

He's doing this for himself even though it hurts like a fucking cunt:
"You will not or cannot make time for us, you don't communicate, you barely answer texts and calls so it's clear where this is headed..." he starts

'No. No. No. for the love of EVERYTHING, Devon, please don't.' Jake internally begs, he feels his throat start to tighten up.

"It's best if we end this relationship. We can't find time for one another and it's hurting me Jake. You don't love me anymore, fine. But don't string me along like a fucking idiot. My heart can't take that." Devon carefully says, making sure to keep his voice steady but he can't stop the tears welling up in his eyes.

"Dev -Dev please no. I can do better. I love you so much please don't fucking do this-" his begging is cut off. "I'm done Jake. We're done. For good this time," and the screen goes black.
Leaving both teens staring at reflections of themselves with tears streaming down their faces and their hearts heavy.

"I love you more than i ever thought possible." Jake whispers, and starts to frantically look at Uber prices from Salem to Hackensack

Devon starts turning off the stove and packing away ingredients he pulled out of the kitchen cabinets and fridge.

"I love you but I have to love me more..." the black boy says to himself.

maybe if he says it enough times he'll even start to believe it.