you lured me in

Post 2x3: i guess i got used to it (pt 1)

Devon was pissed the fuck off, it's not bad enough that he had to be sent to some fucking catholic reformatory school, it's not bad enough that his boyfriend wants them to hide their relationship, it's not bad enough that fucking Chucky was here and they had him captured. What's worse is that Jake wouldn't let him fucking kill it once and for all.

This is the same doll that killed his mother, that killed Jake's (admittedly abusive) father, that killed Devon's best friend Junior. This is the same fucking doll that uprooted his life and killed Jake's foster brother Gary and sent them to this hellscape.

Devon Evans is pissed as fuck.

The dark-haired boy is exhausted from having to always be the more emotionally stable. He is tired...BUT IS ANYONE WILLING TO LISTEN? NO.
Because Lexy and whatever the fuck she has going on is more important and Jake's fucking uncalled for self-flagellation is more important. Devon sighs.

"My pain matters not. It didn't matter last year, it doesn't matter now. The only other fucking person who loved me is dead because of my boyfriend's doll.." He says softly out loud to himself in the dark room whose only light source is the moon that shines through the huge window on the far side of the room. "Having had Chucky in our room was damaging me. It was hurting me.." He says to the sleeping figure of his boyfriend, Jake.

'It wasn't good for me. I truly don't know what to do but I'm definitely in this alone,' he dejectedly thinks to himself, quietly tearing up. 'I'm so fucking tired...I'm so. Fucking. tired.'

On top of all the fucking trauma, he's not allowed to truly be with his boyfriend because his boyfriend decided by himself that they should "keep it on the down low."
How does that sound fair?

He's drained. Devon Evans is tired and a little part of him is saying "let go...open that attic window, just stand on the ledge and let go".

And after a day of fighting...of fighting Chucky, of fighting Lexy, of fighting Father Bryce, of pleading with Jake, of fighting the past year...he's so fucking tired.

Devon pinches the bridge of his nose in pain. He's had a headache for the past three days.

'I'm tired.' He thinks to himself as he gets up, he turns and walks to Jake's sleeping form, kisses his forehead, thanks him for loving him, and apologises for not being strong enough.

He whispers "my doing this is not a reflection of whether you deserve love...you are worth all the love. I'm just not fit to be here anymore."

He takes off his shoes.

one deep breath

Takes off the tie

two deep breaths

Reaches up for the latch

three deep breaths

He opens the window and climbs over his desk

four deep breaths

His hand is met with cool air as he lifts himself up

five deep breaths

Devon turns around for the last time and says:
"I'm sorry."

Right at the moment that Jake opens his eyes and sees him standing there

six

"Goodbye," He whispers, in the quiet of their room it carries.

seven

Jake falls over his two feet, big hazel eyes welling up with tears as he races to get to Devon before he does something he can't take back.

eight

But he's too far.

And Devon?
Well Devon's too far gone.

nine

A quiet sigh.

ten

"I'm tired."

And he lets go.