Collateral Damage

28

"What you're asking is illegal." The doctor said.

Alexander pursed his lips, the dark circles under his eyes not as intimidating as his determined frown.

"I want that heart," He leaned back, glancing over the faces of the board of the best hospital in the state. "And you have it. Now...tell me how much it's going to take to get it."

A perfect heart had come available, however, there was someone within the hospital who needed it, and was closer. Technically, the heart should go to that person.

"Mr. Remington, do you understand you're trying to doom another person to death by your request," one of the board members frowned.

Alexander tapped his fingers on the table. "Fuck the moral high road. This is a hospital, and hospitals need money to run. To buy life saving equipment. I heard there's a new medical gadget Mercy doesn't have. Low funds?"

"What will it take? A million? Two? A hundred million?" He persisted. "Say your terms. You have one day. I want that heart in my girl and you are trying to give it to me come hell or high water," His eyes swept around the room narrowing menacingly. "No matter what I have to do."

It was worthy to note Alexander Remington was a gorgeous, charismatic man that people couldn't help falling for. He has a kind external manner that made him way to fall for. However, people found themselves disarmed when his menacing side came out, those warm grey eyes turning to cold, sharp steel. Warm baritone voice inducing chills as it dropped in anger.

One thing that was clear to anyone who has been around Alexander for enough time was that you didn't want to see him truly angry. He got upset, fussy, even pirritated, but true anger?

It wasn't a good nor easy thing to bring out in him.

Alexander slammed the door behind him, with a deep frown. Why was it so difficult to get what she needed?

A few days passed, and when Audrey finally opened her eyes Desperate Housewives was on. She watched in silence, choking on the intubation cords.

Alexander opened the door, finding her eyes open. He called for the doctor, watching in slow motion, as her eyes caught his.

He was disshelved, bags around his eyes, 5 o'clock shadow overgrown. Finally after a barrage of questions it was just the two of him.

"I..." he asked, sitting in the small chair next to her.

"I don't want to talk," she rasped. "I just wanna watch TV."

His lips pressed into a line, his brows furrowing. He nodded. "Then don't talk. Listen. I'm sorry, Audrey. I know you think I pushed you away because...you weren't enough or because I was afraid of love. And...maybe I was a little afraid."

He looked down. "But I couldn't...I couldn't ruin you. I couldn't take you from life and experience and time, Audrey. I needed to be sure. I wanted...I wanted you to fully mature without my influence. To come into your own. To be independent. To not need me anymore. So that...I could be sure I wasn't hurting you with my...feelings about you."

He shifted. "I couldn't look at you with your life ahead of you, and stop you, Audrey because I have always..." he sighed, closing his eyes tightly. "I have always wanted you to be happy. Safe. I loved you. And so I let you grow up. Without...tainting you, and your mind and your heart."

Alexander sighed and went quiet. She blinked, raising her brows, and nodded to the tv.

"Your favorite couple?" She asked.

"I wanted us to be equal. I wanted you to have your own life, your own money, your own education your own friends. And then...then if you still wanted me. Then fine. Then I'll believe it. Then I can give up."

She nodded to the tv again. "Favorite couple?"

"And about Hannah," he continued. "I care about her. And I won't abandon her. I feel bad, Audrey for what I did to her. I'll give her alimony, and I'll make sure she's okay. I won't let her suffer."

Audrey sighed.

Alexander fiddled with his hands. He'd watched her flounder, nearly losing her life. And then he looked at the transplant cost. The normal cost. And he smiled. She could afford it. Without his help.

"Steel? Your favorite couple?"

"Im a little new at this whole love thing," he rambled. "And I still...I still feel like I took something from you I can never give back. But—despite that, and even despite the fact I still don't think love is the most important thing in the world—I do love you Audrey," his eyes sparkled at her, a hopeful look on his face.

She looked at him. "I like Bree Van De Camp and Orson."

He frowned. "That's a terrible couple have you been watching the show? Clearly the most healthy relationship out of that Train wreck is Lynette and Tom, even though they definitely have issues."

Her lips turned up. "Yeah...but we're Gabby and Carlos."

His lips dipped a bit into a frown. "They weren't always healthy. But they loved each other."

She shrugged, shoveling ice into her mouth. "What are you saying Alexander?"

He shrugged. "I dunno. What do you want me to say?"

She smiled. "I think you're a coward. And I think a big part of this is I have a new heart, and you think that means I won't die any time soon."

His breathing shuddered as he quickly glancing away.

"And you were afraid you'd have to go to my funeral and say, I loved her and now she's gone forever. But I'm not mad at you for that."

Alexander blinked, his head falling into his hands. "Then...why?"

She shrugged. "I'm not sure if I love you anymore. Maybe you were right this whole time Alexander. Wouldn't that be a shame. If this whole time your fear that my feelings were a disgusting mixture of a childhood crush and the pining of a father that I no longer need were real?"

His skin went white, illness swarming in his stomach.

"Well...I wouldn't...be happy. Not that...you don't love me. But I would be happy that I didn't ruin you for true love. Even if...that isn't me. I would be happy I didn't force my feelings onto you. Let you see what you really wanted."

And then Audrey understood. This was his growth. This whole time she assumed it was some complex about love and his childhood. Trying to exchange money for love, like his father. But she realized, he was just trying to make sure he wouldn't oppress her with his feelings, especially if he knew they may be fleeting.

"I will always be here, Audrey. No matter what. The feelings I have for you are not and have never been conditional. It doesn't matter if you care about me. I will always care about you," he offered with a small smile, a dimple forming in his cheek.

Audrey tucked into her ice chips, ignoring him, her ears burning. He smiled wider.