When I was a kid
I used to think that pork chops and karate chops were the same thing
I thought they were pork chops
And because my Grandmother thought it was cute and because they're my favourite she let me keep doing it not really a big deal but one day before I realised fat kids are not designed to climb tress I fell out the tree and bruised the right side of my body I didnt wanna tell my grandmother about it because I was scared of getting trouble playing some where I shouldn't of then the next day the gym teacher noticed the bruises I got sent the principles office from there I was sent to another small room with a really nice lady who asked me all kinds of questions about my life at home I saw no reason to lie as far as I was concerned life is pretty good I told her
whenever I'm sad my grandmother give me karate chops
this led to a full scale investigation and I was removed from the house for three days until they finally decided to ask how I got the bruises
News of the silly little story quickly spread through the school and I earned my first nickname pork chop
to this day I hate porkchops I'm not the only kid who grew up this way
surrounded by people who say that rhyme about sticks and stones as if broken bones hurt more than the names we got called and we got called them all so we grew up believing no one would ever fall in love with us that we'd be Lonely forever
that the sun wasn't something built for us in our tool shed
She was eight years old Our first day of grade 3 when she got called ugly we both got moved to the back of class so we would stop getting bombarded by spitballs but the school hall is a battleground we found ourselves outnumbered day after day reched day we used to stay inside the recess because outside is worse outside we had to rehurse standing still like statues giving no clues that we were there
Grade five they taped a sign to the front of the desk that read beware of dog
To this day despite a loveing husband she doesn't think she's beautiful because of a birth mark that takes a little less than half her face kids used to say she looks like a wrong answer that someone tried to erase but couldn't quite get the job done and Theyll never understand that she is raising two kids whose definition of beauty begins with the word mum because they see heart before they see her skin because she has always been amazing
he was a broken branch grafted onto a different family tree adopted
not because parents opted for a different destiny he was three years old when he became 1 part left alone and two parts tragedy started therapy in eighth grade had personality made of tests and pills lived like the up hills were mountains and the downhills were cliffs four fifth suicidal a tidal wave of antidepressants and adolescents of being called popper
one part because of the pills 99 past because of the cruelty
he tried to kill him self in grade 10 the kid who could still go home to mum and dad had the audacity to tell him get over it
It's as if depression is something that could be remedied by any of the contents found in the first aid kit to this day he is a stick of TNT lift from both ends could describe to you in detail the away the sky bends and the moments before is about to fall
And despite an army of friends who all call him inspiration he remains a conversation piece of people who can't understand
sometimes being drug-free has less do addiction and more to do with sanity
we weren't the only kids who grew up this way
To this day kids are still being called names the classics "hey stupid" "hey spazz"
It seems like every school has an arsenal of names getting updated every year and if a kid breaks at a school and no one around them Chooses to hear do they make a sound are they just background noise from the soundtrack stuck on repeat and people say things like kids can be cruel
Every school is a big top circus tent and The pecking order went from acrobats to lion tamers from clowns to karnies all of these miles ahead head of who we were we were freaks lobster clawed boys and bearded ladies oddities juggling depression and loneliness playing solitaire spin the bottle trying to kiss the wounded parts of our self heal but at night while the other slept we kept walking the type rope just practicing and yeah some of us fell but I wanna tell you that all this is just a brief finally from When we decided to smash all the things we thought we will be
and if you cant see anything beautiful about yourself get a better mirror look a little closer stare a little longer because there is something inside you that made you keep trying despite everyone who told you to quit you built a cast around your broken heart you signed it yourself you signed they were wrong
because maybe you didn't belong to a group or a click maybe they decided to pick you last for basketball and everything you used to bring bruises and broken teeth to show and never told because how can you hold your ground around you when everyone around you is the berry beneath it you have to believe that they were wrong
They have to be wrong why else would we still be here
We grew up believing to cheer on the underdog because we see our selfs in them
We believed that were were not what we were called
We aren't some thing sitting empty on some city high way but if in some way we are don't worry we only stopped and walked to get gas we aren't a banned cause stalled out sitting empty on some high way
But our lives will only ever be a balancing act that has less to do with pain and more beauty
