Together Again? [Phan/Melix/PewdiCry/Ianthony]

Chapter 2-My Secret Gay Crush [Felix's POV]

I saw a grown man, much taller than I, crying while curled up in a ball underneath a tree in a public park. I didn't see him at first since I was talking to Marzia, but as soon as she stopped talking and let go of my hand, I knew something was wrong. We had made the decision to go out on a day trip to London (since it was only an hour and a half away) to get away from work and just be a normal couple for once. Well, change of plans. I guess it was nice to see Dan again, just not nice to see him in this state.

"Dan!" Marzia shouted and waved at him. He didn't respond. Sweat was dripping down his forehead and mixed with the tears running down his cheeks. His eyes were red and puffy, underlined by dark circles. He looked forward, appearing not to be staring at anything in particular, but his eyes were glazed over with an upsetting fog. "Dan!" I decided to shout as well, cupping my hands around my mouth to project the sound in his direction. Marzia took off running towards him, and being the loving girl she is, gave him a hug. She collapsed over the top of him, her arms outstretched. "Dan, what's wrong? Come on, you can tell us. We're your friends now." She told him sweetly. She sounded almost motherly, yet friendly at the same time. Dan sniffed. His head was shaking, and it took him a while to respond. "Phil...somethings not right. There's...there's something I need to tell you." He got up from the ground, brushed himself off, wiped his tears, and cleared his throat.

He began walking and gestured for us to walk with him. Every fan that noticed us seemed to know it wasn't a good time (for once). What a shame that we don't get to meet them, but they are finally learning to give us some space. "Phil hasn't been talking to me. Locking himself in his room, avoiding me, and hardly eating. It's really hard on me..." He said. "You poor thing!" Marzia replied with concern. "Is there anything you want us to do? You could always come back to our place and we could talk." I decided to say. "That'd be good." Dan said, still sniffling and trying to cover up his tears. He must've been so embarrassed, and I felt really bad for him. He seemed like a really great guy, and I wished that I could've gotten to know him better when I had the chance.

We made our way back to Dan's apartment so that he could change and take a shower. He told us we could take a seat on the couch and wait while he gets ready. "Are you sure you're okay with this, Marzia? I know this was supposed to be our day...I ruined everything again." I said. Marzia took my hands, looked me in the eyes, and flashed me a smile. "Of course it's okay! To help a friend, it's always okay. Plus, it was my idea to help him. We'll go on another date soon, it'll be fine." And gave me a peck on the cheek. I then grabbed her waist, pulled her closer to me, and kissed her on the lips. It was the first time in quite a while since we've had a kiss like this.

Dan entered the room after we broke the kiss. He walked in on us cuddling, which was honestly kind of weird. "Alright. Ready." He said. "Cool. Let's catch a cab back to Brighton." I answered. We walked down the steps of Dan's apartment onto the streets of London where we hailed a cab. The cab ride back was awkward and quiet. Dan looked as if he would break down any second. He just stared forward through the windshield and didn't talk the entire way to our apartment.

I took out my keys and opened up the front door that lead into the main room. "Now can you tell us?" I asked anxiously. Dan had been holding out on telling us something, and the curiosity had been killing me. He sat on the couch with the same spaced out expression on his face. What had scarred him? "This is something really important. I'll tell you since I'm starting to get closer to you guys, but you'll have to promise not to tell anyone at all. Unless they already know...promise?" He questioned us. "Yes." We both answered. "Alright then..." He sighed.

"Well, for quite a while now there has been a secret that I've been keeping." Dan continued. "I started dating Phil back in 2009. We broke up in 2012 after the 'V-Day' video was accidentally released by a YouTube glitch and things got out of hand. We got back together eventually, and things were going really well, until about two weeks ago. He hasn't been himself..." I was shocked, and by the look on Marzia's face, she was too. The shipping was actually real for once and wasn't just a stupid game. For them, it must've been harder since they haven't admitted to dating. Just shipping in general was overwhelming. It made Marzia upset when she saw other pairings than ourselves, but I admit, I somewhat have a crush on Cry, but that's another story. It's not something I bring up that much, in fact, I try to avoid anything about my bisexuality at all costs. If people knew that I was bi, then things might go too far. Cry and I would never work out as a full time couple anyways.

"Dan," Marzia sat next to Dan on the couch. "Can you tell me how Phil has been acting? Maybe I can help you." I felt really out of place in this moment. I wasn't any kind of relationship expert and I certainly couldn't give advice to others in a situation like this. I slowly backed away as Marzia spoke to Dan calmly. I went into my office and opened up skype. I thought that I would call up Cry, since he was on my mind. He answered, which I honestly didn't expect. We've been pretty separated and he's been avoiding me for some odd reason.

"Sup?" He asked. "Eh. I needed to talk to someone while Marzia is dealing with some relationship shit. One of our friends is going through some rough stuff." I told him. "Ah. I see. That really sucks." He replied. "But I'm glad you called. I always enjoy talking to you, Felix. We hardly ever do anymore." I felt my face grow hot. "Yeah. I know. But, that could change you know." I heard him sigh on the other end. "I know...it just doesn't work like that." I got a bit angry at this comment. "What?! Why?! You can talk to me whenever! Am I just not good enough for you anymore?! I know, you're too good. Or maybe, I'm too good. Jealous of my subscribers, or just a full time hipster?" I was really jealous, and I didn't mean to have an outburst like this. I realized what I said and covered my mouth in surprise of my own comment. "No...I just...I can't...I'm not sure if I can tell you..." His deep, calming voice was trembling. Was he crying? "Why not? I'll listen! I won't be offended! Please...where's my best friend?" I replied, my voice also started to tremble. There was a long silence after.

"Hey, Felix?" His voice finally broke the silence.

"Yes Cry?"

"I'll tell you." I felt my heart race as he continued on.

"Okay...go ahead..."

"Felix, I used to have a pretty big crush on you. You were just so great, and I couldn't help but smile every time we spoke. I know you have Marzia and everything, but I still have this odd crush on you."I smiled. "You know...I've felt the same way. You mean a lot to me Cry, but I just don't know if it would work out. I would love to be with you, but I also love Marzia. You can be...my secret gay crush." I heard Cry laugh. "Exactly. I love you, but please stay with Marzia. I know what she means to you."

"I know...but don't forget that you matter to me too."

"Yeah. I know. Trust me I will never forget."

"Cry, we should really meet up in person sometime."The sad thing about my relationship with Cry is that I've truly never met him. I've only heard his sexy voice. I had no clue what he looked like, which was very sad to say the least. Meeting Cry had always been a dream of mine.

Cry's positive attitude seemed to melt away in seconds. "No. I will not allow you to look at my face. I never want you to see me. You'll thank me. I'm horrid. You'd never be able to love me." I was shocked that he would say something like this.

"Cry, you're always going to be beautiful to me no matter what. Appearance won't matter anyways!"

"I don't know about that...I'm afraid of my own face. That's why I'm still anonymous."

"Cry...can I call you Ryan? I know you hate being called your real name but I want you to know that I mean what I'm saying. Ryan, I love you. It doesn't matter what you look like. You are just Ryan, and I like Ryan the way he is. I just wanted to see you. In person. So that way, I could give you the hug I've always wanted to give you."

Ryan was silent. "Felix...I love you."