Written In The Stars

Chapter 2: Yuanfen

"Um. Congratulations," Chaeyoung manages numbly, grateful for once for her natural taciturnity as it stops her from feeling the need to force out anything more expressive that might give her away.

"Thanks. I mean I haven't actually asked her yet, so you maybe oughtta save that for when it's official." Jennie grins back over her bare shoulder.

Chaeyoung's heart, which had stopped at the words 'I'm getting married', pumps back into action, throwing itself urgently against her ribcage. Now, the rush of her blood whispers in her ears. Tell her now. There's still a chance. Her head is spinning and she feels, for the very first time in her life, like she might pass out. She regrets sitting on this stupid little stool; there's nothing to hold onto, nothing nearby to ground herself with except Jennie, and the last thing in the world she wants to do is grab onto this girl who has unknowingly, and with the most guileless of smiles, upended Chaeyoung's entire future. She tries and fails to marshal her thoughts into some sort of coherency.

Jennie twists around a little, perching at an angle so she can see Chaeyoung's face. Her forehead creases a little. She must interpret Chaeyoung's blank stare as curiosity rather than horror, because she plunges on blithely.

"I know, I know. But we live together so it's basically a done deal. Been together since we were in high school and we were both on the debate team." Jennie moves her hands around enthusiastically as she talks, and they look like white birds fluttering in Chaeyoung's peripheral vision. Like doves, only they're bringing chaos, not peace. "Actually we met when we were paired up to present the opposing argument in a debate about whether there was any merit to the beliefs and notions surrounding the soul-mark tradition. Not a hardship for me, even then..."

Jennie's voice turns flinty, and Chaeyoung wonders what could have happened to her to put her off the idea so much. Jennie clears her throat. "Anyway. She was fucking magnificent. Smartest person I've ever met, hands down. Our eyes met above the heads of our crushed and weeping opposition and we've been together ever since."

Chaeyoung is used to clients pouring their hearts out to her while they sit on this plastic-covered bench, explaining how all the threads of their personal histories end up weaving together to form the image Chaeyoung etches onto their skin. Sitting here listening to Jennie feels both achingly familiar and wildly different.

Her heart pounds like a jackhammer in her chest, beating out tell her, tell her, tell her, over and over, relentless, but her head holds her back. Would it really make any difference? The girl is clearly opposed to the notion of soul-matches on the deepest of levels, and has been for years.

She's spent her past denouncing everything to do with it, her present ridding herself of it, and soon she'll commit the rest of her future to someone else. What could Chaeyoung possibly say that would change the way Jennie feels? She's just Chaeyoung, after all. Jennie would let her down gently, she's sure, but what would be the point of putting them both through the inevitable painful awkwardness of it.

Also, she supposes, if she herself still believes in soul-matches - and she does now, having met Jennie, more than ever - surely she's supposed to want whatever makes her match the happiest.

It seems like so much more than a coincidence that it's Chaeyoung's hands that Jennie has sought out to cover the mark that links them. If her whole purpose is to make Jennie happy, well... Maybe the way she does that is to follow through with Jennie's wishes.

It doesn't do anything to alleviate the sick disappointment that squats heavy in her chest.

The tips of Chaeyoung's ears burn ferociously. She bends to grab the fallen drawing, grateful for the way the movement muffles her voice and obscures the tone. "So you're really... not into the whole soul match thing?"