looking out for you

how to ruin a good image of a person

Walking to the school, and the only think i could think about was Jessie. What she did after Friday, after the party. It wasnt very "im a mean and selfish person" of her. She had bo reason to help me but she did. And i will forever be greatfull for that.

I like sitting alone like completely alone at the cafeteria then i like to sit with the popular girls.

Looking down at my plate, and its still completely untuched. My stomach was screaming at me. I was really hungry, but when i started to think about the calories and the loss of my control, the Hunger left.

"What's up, pretty girl. How are you"

I recognize the voice instantly. It was her. Before i could say a hi she had sat down and started to eat her food. I looked at her as she ate her food. I lloked away from the food, i fear of the hunger hitting me.

I looked at her instead. Her face was nice to look at. The wolfcut really framed her face really nice. She had two really beautiful eyes. One being a little darker shade of blue then the other. And her lips, they were in a nice nude pink color, with a little of shine from her lipgloss.

She was really pretty

I looked away before she could notice that i was looking at her.

"Are you gonna eat that chicken?"
She said in a hungry tone (dont know if a tone can be hungry but idfc)

"No... You can have it if you want"

"Thanks"
She said excitingly.

_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-

After school i had talked to jack again since the short talk we had last week.

I told him about the party. I left the part of having a panic attack before getting ready, and the part of helping Jessie, and her helping me to get home safely.

I know that i probably should have told him. I have always told him about the panic attacks, but i feel like i dont wonna burden him with my problems right now.

Me and Jack walked together to the bus stop. And i waited with him til the bus arrived. And the i was alone again.

"Hello mom"

"Hey sara"

"Do we have something i can take to eat"

"Uhm yeah we have some leftovers from yesterday"

"Thanks"

Getting people to think that you eat is easy. Especially when you have your own room where you can throw the food in the trashcan in your room. And when you have to get dinner, you will have an easy excuse to why you are not hungry.

Now with Jack its very different. Jack knows about my relationship with food. But i got him to believe it was going better.

He has never asked in about it since, i think he is scared that it might tricker me.

_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-

I went for a walk latter that day. It was dark outside but you could see other people around. After Walking for 30 minutes. I had now walked from the pretty area i was from, to the creepy part of the city. If it wasn't for my music blasting through my ears, i wouldn't have walked all the way here. It was a creepy place to be at night.

I looking around me to make sure nobody was near me. That was when i Spotted someone. They where in one of the Creepy alyways. Looking closer and i realized that it was jessie. What was she doing her.
I walked closer to see what she was doing. Ii spotted that she was talking to a tall skinny guy. The guy was handing her a small plastic bag. I realized that it was some sort of drugs. And that was when it hit me, Jessie was know for being a drug addict. Why did i even question why she was here, i already knew why.

After seeing that i putted my music on
(listen to RUNNING OUT OF TIME by Tyler The Creator)

I stated to walk fast home. But still have an eye on jessie to make sure she wasn't getting beaten up by the Drug dealer.

When i got home i immediately threw my self on my bed. I just wated to sleep and not think more about what i had just whintedsed. I had jsut got the idea of Jessie being nice and now that Image was completely ruined. I felt like i needed to apologize to Jessie for seeing her doing such horrible acts, i know that she probably has her reason to be doing drugs but that was non of my business.