No Longer Human (Kazuscara)

PT 1.

Hey again! I'm back with some more KazuScara angst so enjoy😋

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There are multiple realities.

I'm not making a guess or constructing a theory. I'm simply stating a blatant fact. You don't have to believe me, but for the sake of my story, at least keep an open mind while reading. Try to see my side of things, alright?

Perhaps if I elaborate properly, it'll make a bit more sense. Take this, for example: in another universe, I am a samurai from fallen nobility. I was graced with the power of wind. I fell in love with a fellow traveler, and he was killed in front of me. I then fell in love with another eccentric wanderer, years later. In the end, he died in front of me as well.

In yet another universe, I am a vampire hunter. My lover, meanwhile, is a vampire. The very beast I swore to destroy. Obviously, our relationship doesn't pan out well.

That's not even half of it.

In another universe, we're participating in a game of death for a cash prize. Then another:  I'm an assassin assigned to kill him, Inazuma's biggest crime lord. He's a demon and I am a witch. He's a demon and I, a demon slayer. The list goes on and on—it never ends, actually. So do you see now?

Reality can be anything.

You might be wondering this, now. So if those were all alternate realities, what's this one? What's the one we're currently within?

It's a reality where I am on the 'darker' side for a change, if you might call it that. See, for the longest time, my lover and I reflected light and dark. Yin and yang, if you will. He was always the manifestation of cruelty and chaos, while I was much calmer and softer. Our personalities were the polar opposite, but that's what drew us to one another in the first place. It was something that never changed, not even once, over all the realities.

But things can't stay the same forever.

Change is inevitable, and I know that better than anyone. I've grown to adapt to it. I've seen the disastrous effects of someone resistant to change. I refuse to become like that. But perhaps that was one of my errors. Because I'm so compliant with change, I allowed myself to be manipulated into this.

A murderer. A sinner. A criminal. A monster.

Some people say I'm not even human.

To be honest, I think they're right.

I think I lost my humanity a long time ago.

Perhaps I lost it when my parents first beat me. When they whipped me for failing to meet their standards. Or when they smacked and scolded me for the slightest inconvenience. No, maybe it was when they died before my own eyes. Maybe it was when my clan fell apart into nearly nothing, crumbling into dust with me as the sole pillar, standing alone amidst a pile of rubble.

Or, maybe it was when my best friend died in front of me. How many times was it, now? No matter what life I led, those closest to me continued to suffer and die. I didn't understand at first, but quickly realized there was only one common denominator. Me.

It was me.

Chaos, death, and destruction followed me wherever I went. Nothing could go right for me. And I wanted to protect him from that.

I knew that if we ever met, if we ever fell in love, he would die. All because of me. Because I am cursed. Anything good that happens to me is a false pretense, an illusion that will soon be ripped away. I suck the life from those I care for. That is my burden, and that always will be my burden. I travel the world trying to escape it, but I never will.