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Despite two days passing since Jake's death, you still haven't come to terms with it. He will be buried tomorrow afternoon, but you couldn't face his parents, knowing that you had caused his death. Could he still be alive if you hadn't tried to give him his money back? It's been on your mind constantly. Recently, you haven't been yourself. You've been out of it for the past few days. Your guilt was so overwhelming that you couldn't sleep or eat. This was nothing you ever wished for to happen.
Everything was getting to her, and she was tired and sick of it all. Perhaps she's the problem after all, the way her parents suffered because of her when they could have lived freely without her. A part of her wanted to disappear not because of the guilt that is overtaking her but because she felt completely out of place and nobody seemed to understand her anyways.
It was then that tears began to well up in her eyes, releasing the bottled up emotions. She wanted to make this right. If only she had been given a second chance, she would have gladly taken it. Is there a reason why the world treated her so unfairly? How is it that she always suffers from bad things?
The door suddenly swung open, her friend Eun-hee appeared, her eyes showing a hint of concern as she was saddened to hear about what was happening to her friend.
"Come on Jiah, get some rest today and eat something, you'll get sick otherwise." She paused for a brief second before continuing her words. "It's hard to see you in this horrible state." A sad expression spreads across her face, worried about the brunette.
Silence filled the room as she remained unmoved. A sigh escaped Eun-hee's lips before she approached her friend. She became agitated on her way as she was unable to understand the girl's expressions, the brunette stared straight into her eyes without showing any emotion at all. Taking the opportunity to look closely at her friend, she observed that there were dark circles under her eyes, and that she seemed thinner, there was evidence of dried tears as well. In sum, she looked utterly disoriented.
"Hey Eun-hee.. It's all my fault. My actions could have prevented it from happening, but instead I stood by and watched him get hit by a car." She looked down and was hesitant to speak as the scene replayed all over and over again in her head. "That day, maybe I should have been the one to die instead of..." Immediately, she was engulfed in a hug by Eun-hee, cutting short her sentence. By hugging her softly and patting her back tenderly, she wanted to reassure Jiah that she wasn't alone, as well as having a shoulder to cry on. The brunette hugged her back as she whimped and let the tears trickle down her face, comforted by her friend's presence.
In a gentle manner, Eun-hee broke the hug. Her hand slowly reached out to the brunette's causing her to look up. "Don't you ever say that! I understand how difficult it is to lose a loved one. As a matter of fact, I've been in your place once. However, blaming yourself for something you didn't cause will not solve the problem here. It won't lead to any improvement in your personal development. Jake wouldn't be happy to see you like this, wouldn't he? A faint smile spreads across her face as she explains her point to provide some comfort for her.
"There was such a deep love in his eyes for you that I could feel it. This is a fact I am certain of. Your love for each other might have been destroyed by fate, but you can still rest assured that he is looking over you from up above. So don't blame yourself okay?" Jiah felt her heart clench, knowing that even her close friend is unaware of what is happening between her and Jake. They weren't a real couple, merely an act of pleasing his parents.
Jiah nods in agreement, as things seem to be clearer now. It was quite evident to her that she needed time for herself to think and collect her thoughts.
—
She slipped on her coat as the weather had become chilly in the fall. To clear her mind, she walked to the nearby park. The cool weather enticed her to close her eyes and breathe in the fresh air. She certainly felt calmer after consuming it. Jiah is a gorgeous woman. Her hair was midnight-black and it flowed over her shoulders. She had honey sweet lips. They were lilac soft. The woman also had white teeth that glistened like haloes. Her eyelashes were velvety. A shapely figure accompanied her beauty. It was always enticing to see her constellation-brown eyes at the peak of the day.
In an instant, her thoughts were sparked by the scenery she saw. Her back rested against a bench as she sat and admired the sky. A wild, bright yellow flame burnt in the centre of the sky. Featuring skillful strokes of intense reds and oranges and yellows, the sky looked like a canvas. The sun was gradually melting into the sky, like a person waving goodbye and walking far, far away; and darkness was setting in.
"I guess this really is goodbye Jaeyun." Her lips trembled while she was still contemplating whether or not she should attend his funeral.
As it grew colder, Jiah rubbed her hands together in an attempt to warm them up. Despite liking the cool weather, she always hated getting cold.
Within seconds, her stomach growled as an indication that she was hungry. A soft chuckle escaped her lips as she fiddled with her fingers in boredom. It has been days since she last ate, but she chose to ignore the hunger. She views it as a punishment.
A man suddenly walked by, catching her attention. He was nearly identical to Jake. Almost every detail about the man reminded her of Jake. With his blond hair and his face, he looked exactly like Jake. It totally caught her off guard and she found herself speechless. Suddenly, she was hit by the realization . How could it be Jake? He's gone. Shrugging it off, she conjectured that she might have hallucinated.
However, it bothered her. Her eyes were fixed on him as she rose from her seat to chase after him. Taking hold of the stranger's arm, Jiah embraced him. "Jake is that you?" she whispered so hard that she was close to crying. At one point, maybe she did loved him, but who knows? As soon as he saw her, he froze on the spot.
"Jiah... Are you alright?" his deep voice emanates from him as he speaks, while he stared at you with pure sincerity. There were no words to describe how you felt.
How can this be possible? His last moments were spent in your arms. And now he's here standing right in front of you looking just as healthy as ever, almost as if he had never been injured in the first place. What actual fuck is this.
An unequal breathing pattern suddenly emerged in her. A feeling of faintness overtook her. Suddenly, everything became blurry and she felt like her eyes were going to close any minute. Jake's murmuring was all she could hear at that very moment.
