Mina's question the other night affected me more than I'd like. I mean who asks a question like that and then gets up casually asking if I wanted to eat a late dinner? If it was Momo, Nayeon, or Jihyo I would have pestered them until they tell me what's up, but I can't with Mina, not because I can't but because I could and whatever her answer is, it scares me..She and I are more alike than I thought.
"You have been zoned out for a bit there...everything okay?" Mina asks while the two of us stroll around the Brera district after an early dinner. It's our 4th day in Milan and we were supposed to be on a flight back to New York but last night, Mina suddenly asked if I wanted to stay for 2 more days. The request was random and I don't know if she'll keep catching me off guard like that, but again I couldn't say no to her.
"Yeah..just tired. How was the conference?"
"It was interesting, they discussed a very interesting surgical procedure for people with malformed ventricles, also this.." Mina goes on a long tangent of all the cases and procedures that she learned about today.
"You must really like medicine." I interrupt while she tells me about this biomarker being used to research certain GI issues.
"I.." Mina chuckles awkwardly, "Did I talk too much?" She scratches the back of her neck nervously.
"Well considering that you rarely say anything at all, hearing you speak so much is a nice change, even more because you look so passionate while doing it." I smile at her.
"So I've been told.." She hums, her eyes looking up at the sky, "It'll rain soon," She notes and I look up to see that the once clear night sky is now covered by a blanket of grey clouds, "We should head back to the hotel." Mina pulls her phone out to message our driver.
"Mina." I stopped her from walking.
"Hmm?" She looks back at me.
"Never mind...it's nothing, let's just go." I shake my head, walking ahead of her.
"It can't be nothing. What is it?" She tugs at my hand, holding it lightly, "Are you okay?" Her eyes look into mine and we both take a moment, trying to read each other's deepest thoughts, but our relationship hasn't reached that point..so all we see are the walls we've put up to protect ourselves from whatever it is we're trying not to feel.
"I'm fine..." I blink a few times, "Let's talk about this some other time okay?" I squeeze her hand lightly and she nods. This is what I like about Mina..we both understand not to push things. To keep our friendship at the surface level.
"Ciao." An elderly Italian woman with a basket full of flowers comes up to Mina and I.
"Ciao."
"Tourists?"
"Si."
"Ahh very beautiful couple." She smiles, handing Mina and I a single stemmed rose each, "Enjoy Milano." She waves at us.
"That was odd." I note and Mina nods, "Here." She holds out her rose for me to take.
"You don't like roses?" I ask and she shakes her head no, "Then?"
"I love receiving roses but I also feel sad." Mina says, pulling her hand back and twirling the rose between her fingers.
"Why?"
"Because in order for me to be given something so beautiful, it had to be killed."
"Eh?"
"When you take a rose from its garden, it dies. The vase we put it in just gives it a few more moments of life, but it'll wilt in a few days."
