I Really Do Love you

Chapter 5: Felix

His hands... I still feel them on me, his lips are still on mine, or at least that's how I feel. I am in bed and staring into the dark not knowing what to think, or how to feel. I could feel how much I hurt him because of the way he fucked me, I feel everything that went through him and I regret all of it. I always have, I remember becoming his tutor for school, seeing how hot he was and slowly starting to realize I liked him in that way. We dated for a couple weeks and we planned him taking my first time, I had sex for the first time with him.

I promised him so many things, and I still turned around and hurt him, and I can only blame myself for that. The only question I'm asking is why did I follow him? Why did I go up to my suite get dressed and go beg him for sex? The bigger question why did he give it to me? As soon as he walked away from the hot tub, I felt a pull, a pull to follow him I planned to talk to him, the last thing I planned was a quick fuck in the bathroom. I feel dirty, I feel used, even though that's what I asked for, I felt so damn good to feel wanted, his hand on my hip pinning me against him made me feel claimed. My whole body hummed as he pulsed in and out of me, and it felt good but now... I feel dirty.

"How was your day babe?" Ava slides into bed beside me.

"Good, how was yours?" I turn over and she settles her ass against my front like every night, and like every night I do nothing more than wrap my arms around her. She puts lotion on her hands and rubs them together as she comes up with her answer.

"The girls and I had fun shopping. I bought a few things." She whispers and I kiss the crown of her head.

"Good." I smile. "I'm glad you had fun." I say all of this while feeling numb inside I promised myself that I would never cheat again and here I am doing it all over again. My dick is hard pulsing and I'm sure she can feel it but it's not for her. It's for him. I feel her hand press against my front and I smile.

"I know you need me." She whispers and I zone out. I move my hands and push her hands away lightly; I push the front of my pants down only enough to get out my dick.

"Do you want me?" I ask imagining him, she nods and I feel her pants slide down her bare ass pressing against me. I finish pushing her pants down and grab her hip thrusting inside of her slowly, she moans and I turn over pressing her into the bed. Her ass is up in the air as she pushes it up and I settle a pillow under her stomach.

"Fuck me." She moans, and I start thrusting in and out of her slow and hard. She clenches around me and I groan, I imagine him kneeling in front of me my dick in between his lips. Me in his truck my bottom half bare because he wanted me to be accessible to him and I wanted to. I start thrusting into the tight hole not holding back only hearing moans. "Yes!" She cries.

I imagine him on display for me as I used him just like he asked me too and I remember chasing my high, listening to him tell me I looked fucking amazing. I remember the way his lips felt against mine, his hands, my marks I left on him, I feel a clench, I still coming with a groan. She cries as she comes, I pull out of her roughly.

"That was amazing." She says all giddy, she pulls up her pants and I pull up mine before I settle in behind her once more.

"Goodnight Ava." I whisper kissing the top of her head.

"Goodnight Felix." She says, I hear so much happiness in her voice. I feel so much regret and I hurt but not for me but for her, because I just used her to get off to a memory. The memory of him. I feel her as she relaxes and her breathing evens out, and I know she's asleep. I feel bad for her, I want to do what's right but I don't know how.

I wake up to any empty bed as usual and I roll over, throwing off the covers. I groan remembering everything that happened yesterday, I shake my head before I get up dressed fixing me a cup of coffee. I open the door to go to my office and take the elevator down. Do I pretend last night didn't happen? Should it happen again? Well I know the answer to that should be fuck no because I have a girlfriend. The elevator doors open, I turn to my right opening the side door. I start walking to my office, when I walk inside I hear a cough and I turn looking to my chair seeing him sitting there.