ELIZA

CHAPTER TWENTY FIVE: EXPLANATION

Cosmo stroked my cheek slowly. The gun was pressing against my stomach, lying somewhere between us. The knowledge that it was loaded and could fire at any moment made me dread. Only this gun kept us apart. I was close to death again, a gunshot, even the uncontrolled one, could kill both, me and him.

He got up. I guess he thought the same thing, because he reached for the gun and played with it for a while. He sat down next to me and sighed bitterly.

I was still lying stiffly and the next shed tears soaked into the quilt. I felt as if he had rejected me and maybe even raped me. On the one hand, I was angry that he wasn't kissing me anymore, and on the other, I was grateful. Mentally, I felt like a human wreck. No, I was that wreck because I almost betrayed the man I loved. Tom fought for his life in the hospital and I kissed the person who probably caused it...

I got up after a few minutes, although Cosmo didn't move even an inch. He contemplated, his face serious, and focused. His constant presence wasn't definitely good for me. I thought he was very handsome, and the black sweater that draped over his torso emphasized his muscles. I dug my nails into my skin - I wanted to hurt and scold myself for these thoughts. I didn't know what was happening to me.

"Tom's left the hospital," he said suddenly, all the color from my face drained away.

"Wha... what?" I stammered. "He recovered?"

He didn't answer that. He sighed again, then nodded reluctantly. He looked at me and my reaction.

My face must have been priceless, because he laughed seeing my lips twitch. But I... I was just happy that Tom got better, that he didn't fight for his life anymore. I didn't have to be so worried about him now.

I was so pleased that I even wanted to hug Cosmo, which I didn't do, however, for obvious reasons. I didn't want him to think that the information about my boyfriend's good health could change something in our relationship.

"Give me a few weeks," he said suddenly.

I frowned, and looked at him expectedly.

"I don't really understand," I muttered under my breath.

Cosmo grabbed my hand.

"I am asking you not to try to escape for four weeks," he whispered, kneeling beside the bed.

I felt as if there were dozens of butterflies fluttering in my stomach. For some reason, I had never experienced a more romantic situation, and although I didn't want to, I liked it very much.

"I still don't understand. You said..."

"Yes, and I've just changed my mind," he pressed his lips against my hand. "I'll let you go if, after these four weeks, you still want to come back."

Oh no, I groaned in my mind. The vision of the possibility of a free return to the country was very tempting, but he just suggested that I should stop being his hostage. I preferred to describe myself as kidnapped, which made it easier for me to see Cosmo as a monster. Not only that I just found out that Tom is fine, not only that I understood that I was still attracted to Cosmo, I was also supposed to stay here voluntarily?

"What if I don't agree?" I replied evasively. "What if I even try to escape soon? Will you kill me?"

"No," he stroked my right hand gently, then looked at me passionately. "I'll kill myself."

Another blackmail. But I didn't expect it, although I knew it was caused by what he saw. I couldn't kill him, so it meant that his life was important to me - that I had some kind of affection for him.

Chills ran down my body. I didn't even know my palm is so sensitive to the touch. I ripped my hand out.

Four weeks isn't long. Four weeks is twenty-eight days. If this is my chance, I can go along with it. I don't have to try to escape anymore, Cosmo himself will open the door for me in a month, I thought, so I agreed.

"Okay," I muttered. "Four weeks, not a day more. Four weeks and I'm going home."

"We'll see," he smirked.

If I was going to stop being hostage, I could I talk to someone now, right...?

"Does that mean I can get my cell phone?" I suspected that he had it somewhere with him, or at least my SIM card. His eyes, however, darkened.

"No," he confirmed my suspicions, then stood up with a grave face.

As he didn't want to add anything, I took matters into my own hands.

"If I'm not going to run away anymore, you have to be honest with me," I knew he didn't tell me everything. "Cosmo?"

"There is no going back from this," he began. "In four weeks, either you stay with me and we continue to travel together, or you come back alone."

I raised my eyebrow. Why couldn't we go back together?

"After it... you'll travel alone?" I asked uncertainly.

"I'll have to."

The corners of his mouth were raised, but he said it somehow painfully.

"What do you mean?"

He fought an internal struggle with himself whether to say more or stay silent. But he knew that had to explain more to me if he wanted to gain my trust.

"I can't go back with you. The police are looking for me."