ELIZA

CHAPTER THIRTY SEVEN: GOODBYE

We talked for a long time in bed at night. I even dared to ask Cosmo who he murdered - a woman or a man. This question has been bothering me ever since Tom told me his cousin's lie.

Cosmo must have been surprised either by the fact that I knew about the woman, or by how long I had suppressed the question, because he was looking at me searchingly. In the end, he replied that he actually made the story shorter because he was afraid that I would take it the wrong way if there was a woman involved. In fact, a man attacked him and got into a fight with him. The woman, however, was in league with his opponent, so seeing that he was losing, she tried to help. In the struggle, someone pulled the trigger (there was no knife, just a loaded gun). The bullet ricocheted and hit the woman, who died on the spot.

The man accused Cosmo of murder, although it was never fully proven who fired the shot. If it wasn't for the monitoring, which showed that Cosmo was the victim in this incident, because he was attacked, he would probably still be in prison to this day.

I don't know why he thought I wouldn't like this story. To be honest, I preferred it to the original one. Cosmo also told me that he decided to kidnap me when Tom had a motorcycle accident before work. He was the person who was notified by a friend who saw the whole incident, but fled the scene of the accident without providing any assistance. Cosmo thought Tom would die. His condition wasn't good. I remember well how the whole day I couldn't reach my boyfriend and how I sensed that something had happened.

We fell asleep with our hands clasped. Nothing happened between us that night, but I clearly felt a change. Finally, after so many weeks, I could admit to myself that I felt more than just an attachment to him.

He was definitely visually appealing to me. It was grotesque, because during our first meeting I didn't like boots and leather, so I paid no attention to him. During the second meeting, he made a great impression on me. If that wasn't the case, I wouldn't have gone to bed with him. Plus, I had never been so comfortable talking to any man before.

Cosmo was not only charming and caring, but also manly and feisty.

A dream partner for Barb, I thought in the morning, looking at him in silence when I opened my eyes.

But there was much more in him. If you narrow it down to these four qualities, it's like calling an apartment a home and not having furniture inside.

Cosmo was sensitive, romantic, meticulous, jealous. He was also aggressive, crazy, possessive and unpredictable at times. There were many contradictions in it. So much that he still remained an enigma to me.

And I loved him. Of course, a different love than the one for Tom. My love for Tom was innocent, although paradoxically it was built on devilish foundations. That love hurt a friend, and it wasn't something I was proud of.

Cosmo begged love for himself. I don't know when he did it. He dug a hole for so long that I finally fell into it. With his dedication, commitment and patience, he got what he wanted, although he would never know about it.

I sighed sadly. With such determination and a lump in my throat, I woke him up.

My flight was at four o'clock. We spent the morning in silence; neither Cosmo nor I felt like talking. We didn't eat much for breakfast either.

We were in a depressed mood all the way to the airport as well.

When we arrived at the terminal, he handed me a ticket along with a passport in a false name.

"You'd better go there yourself and I'll go back to the hotel."

I nodded, though inside I was boiling. Was it supposed to look like this? He won't even get out of the car to say goodbye? I cleared my throat. How was I supposed to behave?

Say 'thank you' or apologize?

"You know..." I started quietly. "I hope we'll meet again. I can come here..."

"I don't think I'm staying here." He wasn't mad. His voice was filled only with regret. "It wouldn't be wise."

I nodded. Of course not. Probably he will go to Asia.

I had to get out of the car as soon as possible. I didn't want him to see me cry. I touched the handle, when I felt his hand on my left hand.

"Are you going to be okay? he asked, forcing me to look at him. My eyes had fogged up a long time ago, so he was blurry.

I knew that one word from me would cause him to consider other scenarios. Either he would keep me here or he would come back with me. But I couldn't be selfish. Although I dreamed that we would try dating in our country, I had no right to propose it to him. I had no right to demand anything from him at all. Even though I was afraid that I wouldn't be able to handle it, I nodded again.

"Take care of yourself," I whispered, feeling my voice fail me. "I love you," I added softly.