Citrus: Mei's Story vol. 8 - Travelling Heart

III. Tension

"Is it finally time to play?"
I think so...
"Goood. I was starting to wonder if you were only going to keep teasing me with foreplay."
        Foreplay is fun, and she definitely wants to explore that stuff more already. However it's her first time. We need to be patient.
       "We are the same person. You can't tell me you don't feel that pull towards her. That desire for her to snap out of being her cautious docile side and just take us. You can't deny that you have imagined a thousand ways for you two to fool around and not get caught except maybe by those with more experience. You can't tell me that you haven't wanted to take Matsuri aside and ask her about certain tricks to try out with Yuzu, or to pull Maruta and Mitsuko aside to run interference and give you enough privacy to start. We need her in every way possible."
She's still an innocent, but I think she might be ready. I don't want you to scare her. No extremes. If anything, let her lead and see what she might be into.
"Afraid she'll reject us if she learns what we're into?"
No, but she still doesn't realise that she's the dominant one. If she doesn't know that, how could I get her to understand me wanting her to restrain me, or bite me? How do I get her to try clawing my back or pulling my hair? That's not even a fraction of what we like, and what if she realises how we learned about all these likes of ours?
"Then why tell her about how my sister and I were formed? Why tell her about those men?"
She needed to know. I needed her to see that she wasn't the only person who was afraid. That it's okay to take it as slow as she needs to. That I won't reject her. I want her to feel comfortable and in control. So we'll move at her pace and just enjoy every minute of it.
"And tonight if she decides to cross the line?"
Yes, I'll let you come out to play then. Just promise me that you'll—
"Mei Mei, did something happen between you two?"
I blinked. The manifestation of my sexual desire that had been visible since my conversation with Yuzu at the pond, now vanished from where she had been sitting and talking with me. In her place sat a nervous Himeko. My friend looked from me to somewhere else and back. I was still completely confused by this shift from a conversation in my head to one in reality.
"What was that, Himeko?"
"You and Aihara Yuzu have been distracted since you came back with the fish. You seemed like you were mumbling to someone, and she's been... well... like that."
I was tempted to remind Himeko that she didn't have to say Yuzu's full name all the time, but before I could I glanced over to where she indicated. At a table to our right sat Harumi, Suzuran, and Yuzu. It was obvious that the open space next to Harumi was for Matsuri, but that wasn't what Himeko was pointing out. Yuzu was staring at me. It wasn't like when she used to look at me all lovestruck at school, and it wasn't like when she was heartbroken and pining after me. Even when she and I were feeling the desire to kiss, she didn't look at me like that. This was an expression I had only seen when she was extremely turned on. She was imagining things that were making her blush and breathe heavy. The only action she was taking in the real world was seasoning her fish with the shaker. It felt absolutely lewd for some strange reason as I looked at the mountain of seasoning she was pouring out on her poor fish. Next to her Suzuran watched in surprise and fascination. I sighed and looked at Himeko to avoid letting my mind wander down whatever rabbit hole Yuzu was travelling.
"It must be the heat and all the excitement of being here with everyone."
"Really?"
I looked back in time to catch Yuzu now using the back of her chopsticks to trace her lips like she had done back when I had thought she was wanting me to touch her our second day living together. After everything that happened since then, I was now certain. She had been wanting my touch. If we had been dating back then, she would have probably not freaked out. That was the only difference. Now we had the relationship where we could indulge in our desires for each other. Belatedly I answered Himeko's question.
"Yeah, that's what it was..."
"Yuzucchi..."
At Harumi's voice, Yuzu seemed to snap out of her daze.
"You put tons of seasoning on your fish."
I watched as Yuzu looked down at her plate and finally noticed the smothered fish. She yelped in surprise and embarrassment at what she allowed to happen and in her panic she accidentally shook the shaker and got seasoning all over her hands. With a miserable expression she glanced my way. I tried my best to commiserate, but my particular experience had been somewhat different than hers. Beside me Himeko voiced her doubts at my explanation.
"I've never seen you act like this because of the heat, and she's been pretty focused on you for it to be just excitement at the trip."
I sighed and looked at Himeko.
"Himeko, I'm not going to tell you everything going on with me. Right now I just want to spend time with Yuzu and everyone and have fun."
"Mei Mei..."
Suddenly Yuzu's voice rang out.
"I'm going to go wash my hands!"
"Okay."
When I looked back over, Harumi seemed relatively unfazed. Yuzu was running off to the wash station. And then I noticed Matsuri she was staring after Yuzu. Then she quickly set her food down and practically skipped after Yuzu.
"Me too!"
If it had been any other time, I would have been wanting to follow Matsuri to make sure she didn't try anything. This time something else caught my interest. While she didn't care about Yuzu running off, as soon as Matsuri scampered away Harumi seemed particularly curious. She stared after the girl and seemed more invested if not a little melancholic as she spoke.
"Okay..."
Harumi, do you actually like Matsuri already?
She let out a sigh and started picking at her food. Something about how she was acting felt familiar but not as recognisable as being in love. If anything it felt like something was starting to grow but at the same time something was starting to die. I nearly walked over to ask her about her feelings, but I didn't have that close of a connection to her. So all I could do was sit and watch as she seemed to wade into a confusing sea of conflicting emotions. It was enough to make me hope Matsuri and her could figure out how to move forward. The only thing I could do to help was get knowledge. And so instead of interacting with Harumi and Matsuri, I sought out Mitsuko and Maruta.
I found them on one of the overlooking hills. It was unsettlingly fitting for them. I had expected them to be all over each other like how they had been whenever they were at the school, but instead I found them looking down on where Matsuri and Yuzu were talking. As I got closer Maruta tugged on Mitsuko's sleeve and they swapped sides so Mitsuko could address me directly. She nodded down to Matsuri and Yuzu.
"Any idea what those two could be talking about?"
"Probably me."
At my guess, the pair let out a laugh. It was Maruta who then kept the conversation going.
"Someone's pretty confident about her girlfriend's affection. Though you're probably right all things considered. Your prince tends to have a pretty one track mind."
Before I could respond, Mitsuko sighed contentedly and wrapped her arms around her fiancé.
"I'm glad we agreed to come. I think she needed this."
At first I thought she was meaning Maruta, but a glance at her showed that she was staring down at Matsuri as the girl left Yuzu to then meet up with Nene and Himeko. There was something relieved in her voice. It was enough for me to want more information.
"You two have spent more time with her at her house. How are things with her family and with the move?"
"Well, I'm not sure how things were before we stepped in, but since she's moved her parents have been spending less and less time at home. It's mainly her and her brother living by themselves."
My mind swirled as I tried to reconcile my idea of parenthood and Matsuri's apparent life.
"Why would they leave their children alone for so long?!"
"Matsuri is very responsible most of the time. She only acts out when she isn't having to be a grownup. That's why she wanted to go on this trip. And why she invited everyone..."
We looked down in time to see her teasing Nene and Himeko with a lizard that she had randomly found. Maruta let out a chuckle that would have been sweet if it wasn't at the expense of others.
"With one or two exceptions."
"She needed a place where she'd be accepted and allowed to be a kid."
Hearing the softness in her voice, I looked over at Mitsuko. She was smiling as though she was Matsuri's actual mother. There was love and pride in her eyes that seemed a little strange considering the situation that continued to bind her with Matsuri.
"She's in love with your little sister. Are you sure you really want to let her run wild?"
It was a low blow. Mitsuko's most well known weakness was her love and protectiveness over her little sister. I loved Matsuri, but even I felt like she could be a bit wild at times. It was hard to believe that Mitsuko could overlook who Matsuri was and even more so who she had been when talking about her open attraction to Harumi. At my question, Mitsuko's face darkened in frustration. It was the reaction I had expected, and then she spoke through her frustration.
"And yet the girl is dragging her feet. I thought they'd be showing you and your girlfriend a thing or two by now. It's not like Harumi is going to make the first move. She should just kiss her and get it over with. Maruta made me unable to walk with all she did to me."
"It was rather surprising to see that Udagawa boy again. How long has it been since then, Micchan?"
Maruta's comment came so quickly after Mitsuko's strange rant that I had a sneaking suspicion that she was trying to avoid me paying attention to what her lover had actually said. It worked fairly well as it seemed to touch on something I suspected since this morning.
"You two know Mr Udagawa?!"
"Unfortunately."
Mitsuko's one word reply spoke volumes about her feelings on the matter. She seemed to sigh as she spoke but halfway through it transformed into a groan. Her dismissal reaction was contrasted by Maruta's clear amusement at the situation.
"He was the boy Micchan was supposed to be engaged to."
"What?!"
"The Udagawa family were friends of both the Taniguchi family and the Aihara family. At least until I was forced to take control of my family. Before that, Haji was the person my parents had arranged to be my fiancé."
I stared at her in awe. Somehow it had never occurred to me that Mitsuko also faced a similar situation that I was currently trapped in. I had to know how she got free.
"What happened?"
"My parents died. I was twelve. By the time I was in my second year of high school, I was the undisputed head of the family and I was not the girl my parents wanted me to be."
I nodded my understanding. The Taniguchi family had once been staunchly traditionalist alongside my grandfather, which meant they wouldn't have been happy with the fact that Mitsuko was a lesbian let alone her other more progressive views. That shift alone would have been enough to shake things up. And then Maruta chimed in.
"Plus we were finally able to be together. So we were a little preoccupied with things."
"Grandmother was very understanding. She let me handle my engagement meetings by myself, so I took advantage of the situation."
Stop talking around the subject. You know what I'm dealing with. The tension is built up enough already!
"What did you do?"
Instead of Mitsuko, it was Maruta who started the explanation.
"She brought me with her to the meetings, and we were not subtle about who I was to her. We even made a point to give them a little show every time we arrived. Being a very strict traditionalist family, the Udagawas were not the most understanding of people. At least not the adults at the time. I was sure that boy was going to soil himself when he finally attended the meeting."
"It wasn't that bad!"
"You made a point of scaring him."
Mitsuko scoffed at her lover's accusation. I had heard stories about her being particularly aggressive against men, but I had thought it was all just rumours. The way Maruta was talking, Mitsuko had gone out of her way to scare some boy she was just meeting.
No wonder he seemed so nervous when he heard she was coming.
"I'm a head of a family and a woman. Men should be afraid of me."
"What happened?"
"As soon as we walked in I kissed Macchan and we sat with her in my lap just to be up front about everything. I told them I had no interest in being married to a man and if I was forced, I would turn that man into a bedridden invalid by slipping something into his dinner every night."
Even though it was just a retelling of her past, hearing her calmly talking about drugging a man so he wouldn't touch her made me shiver. I wasn't sure if it was purely because I was unnerved or impressed she had considered it. Maruta then jumped in to add the final touch of the story.
"You then suggested that you'd go to sleep in the room next door and the asked me to describe my dream bedroom which you then used as the description of where you would stay instead of with your husband."
"It got the point across. Anyway I doubted he wanted to marry me in the first place. Especially with the later rumours about him. I did him a favour by destroying that arrangement."
I couldn't help but be in awe of them. Not only did they prove that it's possible to stop the arrangements once and for all, but they didn't even blink at being open about their relationship to people who wouldn't accept them. They were fearless. I looked from them to where Yuzu was standing with Harumi. A part of me wondered if we could be that fearless someday.