Citrus: Mei's Story vol. 8 - Travelling Heart

IV. Finally

         It was a long while before I was finally finished. As I lay on the bed in a warm numbness of pleasure, I let out a contented sigh and looked towards the door. I was surprised that Yuzu wasn't back yet.
        Well it is a hot spring with all our friends. Maybe she is just enjoying the water. Maybe I should have gone with her after all. Depending who was with her, we might have been given some time alone. Then I could have enjoyed her and let her enjoy me...
          I blinked at my own thoughts. I often imagined what it would be like to be with her and cross that line with her, but now it felt like I wasn't just imagining it. I was outright planning for it in every scenario. Even though I had just released all that pent up tension I had, I was wanting more. I was wanting her. Nothing else would do. The longing was building to a fever. I had to be with her as soon as possible.
          She might still be in the hot spring. If I hurry I could join her.
          I fixed my top and buttoned up my pants before I ran for the door. Just as I was about to reach the door, it opened and I heard Yuzu's voice.
        "Mei?"
        Yuzu?!
      As the door opened further I saw that she was looking down instead of into the room.
      "The bath's free—"
       I threw myself into her and wrapped my arms around her waist and buried my face in her chest. For a moment I worried she might fall over.
        "Wah?!"
         Her voice was full of understandable and adorable surprise at my sudden embrace, but the next moment she was holding me. I straightened and found myself centimetres away from her face and staring into her eyes. We both blushed as once more the mood started to shift towards us going further than just a kiss. My heart started racing and I found myself tempted to just pull her into a kiss.
        I could push her against the door and we'd start where everyone could see, or I could pull her into the room and on top of me and see how far she'd go if given the chance.
        It was overwhelming just being this close again. All my thoughts had turned to what we could do and how we could get away with it. Or how it didn't matter if we got caught, but it didn't feel right.
         I don't mind if we get seen kissing, or hugging, or holding hands, or anything that girlfriends might do in public. But right now it wouldn't just be a little light PDA. Ever since we got here, the temptation has been to go for it. I don't want to share her first time with anyone else. I don't want her to think I like having sex where people can see. If I kiss her now, we might not stop.
         Just before I gave in to the temptation, I forced myself to look down and push myself back from her. My heart raged against my actions but I further stepped away. The mood broken, Yuzu turned to collect a towel that had been thrown off her when we collided. I attempted to cover my impulsive actions.
       "At least knock."
       Right, like I wouldn't have pulled her into the room if she had let me know she was right there...
      Surprisingly Yuzu didn't even seem to doubt my logic.
      "Right... sorry."
      As I watched her, I started feeling the overwhelming desire to be with her return. If we didn't hurry, we would be in the exact same compromising situation that we had just gotten out of. The only thing to do was move forward. I turned and started for the hot spring. I got two steps before Yuzu called out.
     "Ah...!"
     I tentatively took one more step before she continued.
     "Mei, hang on a sec."
      Yuzu, if I don't leave now we will find ourselves in another awkward position very fast.
      But I stopped and waited for her to speak.
     "Harumin and the others were talking in the bath."
      Did something happen to make you nervous again?
      "They were wondering if they could..."
       Steeling myself against my own impulses, I turned to look back to her as she finished her request.
       "Come hang out in our room later?"
       I stared at her, but she wasn't looking oblivious. This time she looked meek and a little regretful that she was asking this. She wanted to be a good friend to Harumi and the others, but she also wanted to be a good girlfriend to me. That was why she was asking and not just informing me.
       "Would that..."
        She is actually giving me a chance to refuse?
        "Be okay?"
        In that moment, I understood. She wanted to be with me as much as I wanted to be with her, but she was stuck with not wanting to disappoint her friends. So she was hoping that I would either say no and we could just spend the night alone, or allow her friends to come and hope to find time later. And throughout it all, I could tell she was extremely nervous about our night together. I wasn't sure if it was because she was inexperienced, or if she was still not really ready. That was all I needed to know to make my decision. I turned my back to her so she couldn't see that I was acting against my true desires, and spoke in a clipped tone.
       "Fine."
        I left her standing there. Despite the pull of my heart, I didn't look back to her. If I did I'd be tempted again. In this state I might trigger her instinct to freak out or run away. I didn't want to cause her any more problems. That was why I picked up my pace.
        I'm doing this all for her. Everything is for her. I can wait. I have to wait. Even if it's unbelievable hard to not be with her.