Read my mind | Van McCann

2

Lucy Anderson comes to town and he's finally forced to consider some things he'd chosen to ignore.

While Van lived a generally solitary life, he still had friends who showed up occasionally. He'd actually met Lucy at a concert - a flight attendant with a wandering heart much like his own. She would come through occasionally, sometimes calling him, sometimes not. When she did she always stayed the night.

He knows Y/N - knows her better than anyone, knows her better than he did when he said it the first time if that's possible. He knows that there is a possibility she may be turning down others for his sake.

A part of him has no desire to sleep with anyone else either. He's happy, satisfied, and sees no reason for it. But this is meant to be about making life easier for Y/N, and he doesn't want to hold her back.

He turns Lucy down and wonders if he'll hear from her again. He won't be heartbroken if he doesn't, but he would be disappointed. Sex or no, she's an avid traveler; conversation with her is always stimulating.

The next time Y/N comes around it's for three days, longer than usual. She arrives at his apartment on his day off, bags in tow. "I didn't want to assume, but..."

He grins. "It's safe to assume."

She's still hesitant as she puts her stuff down. Fidgeting with the sleeves of her coat, she won't meet his eyes. He wonders who asked her out. He knows she didn't go and he fights between smug satisfaction and guilt.

"Van..." she begins, and he remains quiet, allowing her to say her piece. "I don't want a boyfriend right now."

He waits, sure there must be more, but she remains quiet, biting her lip. He contemplates biting it for her and putting off the conversation a little longer.

Instead he sighs, lets her off the hook. "I think that's smart. You're pretty busy; boyfriend would probably get in the way right now."

She's frustrated with his response but he can't give her the answers on this one. Whether she knows it or not, this is her show.

"So we're... what? Friends with benefits? I've done that before, Van; it didn't work out."

That's slightly surprising to hear. He'd wager whoever it was became a boyfriend not too long after. His money's on the Curly Haired Dick from Oxford and he goes with it. "So, in recent years, with the job you have right now, with someone in one specific state, who you can see when you want, you've tried before?"

She's back to fidgeting with the sleeves of her coat again, the ends fraying beneath her fingers. "...Well, no. It was at Oxford."

Curly Haired Dick it is. "Where you were living on the same campus, probably saw each other all the time, maybe even were dating each other's friends."

She blushes and he knows he got it in one.

"Y/N, I'm not saying this is perfect. I am saying the distance helps when it comes to a lot of the potential issues. You want to go on a date? Go on a date. You want to sleep with someone else? Do what you have to do." It hurts to say, but it still needs to be said.

It's clear that it distresses her too. Y/N's always had a jealous streak. "But... I don't always warn you when I come. What if you're... busy?"

He rolls his eyes. "You largely overestimate my social life. I got a lot of that out of my system a long time ago."

She's breaking and he smiles to himself as she walks away from her bag and finally takes her jacket off. "So... what? I'll be sleeping around while you wait patiently for me to visit?"

He snorts at the notion that she would sleep around. She could; she's beautiful, she has a job that would support such a lifestyle. But Y/N is a woman who likes having a boyfriend, a boyfriend that would simply be an annoyance for her at the moment. He's offering her the illusion. Happily. Willingly.

"Don't worry about what I'm doing. You do what you want. But I can promise you that whenever you come to town, as long as you want to, you can have my bed. Preferably with me in it."

They stand quietly, watching each other. In an instant a decision is made and she takes a step forward, kissing him hard on the mouth.