Hajime's P.O.V.
When I went back to the buffet, I was feeling kinda lonely, and that made me confused, since there were many people around me, then I realized: it had been too long since I last saw my best friend, so I really missed her.
To be honest, I was kinda scared to face her, I was started to be worse and worse at hiding my crush, and I actually wanted to confess....but at the same time...
I already felt bad in my life without losing my best friend, I was not saying she would have left me, but she would have become colder, and I could have never standed it.
That's when I started feeling self conscious, even worrying about how the others saw me, in a split second.
It was all so fast but I probably already felt like this, just never aknowledged it.
Did my friends really like me?
Was I annoying? Or lame?
What was wrong with me?
I panicked.
I began breathing harder and faster, and my head hurt so much, I felt like passing out.
That was when I felt a warm touch on my shoulder.
"Hajime. Are you okay? What happened?"
Chiaki seemed seriously concerned, her eyes were wide open, her lips slightly parted, quivering.
"I'm...I'm sorry, really, I dunno what, it's just, I-"
That's when she hugged me. Best feeling in the world. In that exact moment, I didn't care about snything else, not judgement, not rejection, not problems of any kind.
It all dissolved in the air.
I probably snuggled a bit against her arm, which was very comfy, since it was covered by an oversized sweater's sleeve.
That made me feel kinda guilty, I mean, while she was just showing her platonic affection to me, I was thinking of her in a different, and not really appropriate (stop your dirty minds, it's as in liking), way.
I felt her smile, her face placed on the back of my head, almost smelling my hair.
"Do you feel better now?"
"Yeah. I-"
"Then will you tell me what the heck just happened?!!?? You made me so worried!"
She took my head in her hands, shaking it.
I looked at her with pleading eyes, almost suggesting to not stop hugging me.
And so she kept doing so, while scolding me for scarying her and not saying anything.
"Sorry..."
I couldn't just explain such a thing to her, but I also wanted to tell someone about the disaster going on in my mind.
She, obviously, wasn't the best option, but then who? If I tried to talk to Kazuichi or Fuyuhiko, I would have spilled something about the bet, and Nagito...we weren't that close yet.
But maybe that was even better...not knowing me *that* well, he could have helped me sorting all of that out with his outsider look.
It was definitely gonna work.
But later.
I couldn't stop myself from enjoying her embrace.
"You look like a cuddly dog, ya know?"
"Uh?"
"Yeah, you know those huge, hairy dogs that are way friendlier than the tiny ones, and that often lick people to express their affection, and-"
"You think? Does that mean I have to lick you?"
Damn it.
I instantly regretted that shit, and I will always, 'till my death.
"Excuse me what the hell?"
"It was just a joke!! You know, since we are best friends, and you said that..."
"Damn, Chill. I know, I was just teasing you"
"I lost ten years of my life because of that! Damn you!"
She laughed in the most adorable way, and then I somehow felt relieved, as if the weight on my chest was suddenly lifted.
"Can I let you go now?"
"Oh- yeah, sure"
She walked away slowly, directed towards Ibuki, I saw Chiaki greet her, then they chatted at a low volume, giggling every now and then.
At some point, I realized I had been staring at them for a while, so I shook my head a little.
Then I heard a voice from behind me.
"Hi again, Hajime"
I turned to see Nagito.
When I was talking to him I didn't, but after hearing it again, I couldn't help but notice how soft his voice sounded, almost as if he was suppressing it, or covering part of his face with a pillow.
Still, I never thought it could be because of something horrible or anything, so I wasn't really worried, I just thought it was curious.
I greeted him as nicely as I could, wondering whether I actually wanted to start another long conversation....they weren't boring, not at all, but I wasn't in the mood for a second one.
Then I remembered what I had thought.
"Nagito by the way.."
"Yeah?"
He bent over to face me, our heads at the same level, with a confused expression.
"I wanted to talk to you about something...really important, if it's fine for you"
"If that's gonna make us even better friends, then I'm in!" he responded, smiling softly.
"Friends", huh?
I liked thinking about the two of us that way, it felt so right.
I was so happy about this new friendship I almost forgot what I wanted to talk to him about.
"Could we go to a more private place tho?"
"Yeah, follow closely"
"He led me through a bunch of people and we got pretty far from the center of the party when he stopped, looked both sides, and opened a door.
That looked like a study room, with a big wooden desk, and on top of it, there were aligned many little ink bottles, of different shapes, like pyramids, flowers, books, etcetera and a few fancy pens.
"How did you know this place?"
I was stunned.
That room was the exact definition of my happy place: nice desk, eye-pleasing but also useful random stuff, cute closed curtains, a low light, books, a huge old carpet with dark-themed fantasies...
"I just have already been here"
He tried to make it look like he didn't care, but he was clearly proud of finding a room I liked so much.
I then started explaining that I had a crush on my best friend and I didn't know what to do and I needed his, or anyone else's advice.
"Wait. So you're telling me you are not gay?"
{1064 words}
{published the 25th of October 2022}
<okay damn. Things are going the way I like now. I ain't talking about the couple, but BOOKS.
Jokes aside, this will be kind of a slowburn, and I don't even know when I'll give you anything around that, but it *will* take much more time.
Anyways, sonn there'll be my favourite part, where many important things happen, so yeah, I'm excited.
Still two weeks to wait though.
Hope you're enjoying this>
