Even Bad Guys Sleep at Night

Gardenias

A/N If you haven't watched Chuck, you probably won't enjoy this little snippet of Chuck's thoughts. Watch the show then come back and read. Go on, I'll wait.

Even Bad Guys Sleep at Night

A notion By Lord Rapier

A very bad man, known as the Belgian, captured Charles Irving Bartowski, also known as Chuck. He's the Intersect. His mind was uploaded with all the secrets of the government. He was held captive day and night, in a small lab in Northern Thailand. He was there for approximately 30 days. Sarah Walker, his partner and love, John Casey, his partner, and Morgan Grimes, his best friend; together known as Team Bartowski, were searching worldwide for any sign of him. They were not having much luck.

During the day Chuck, was being subjected to a major mind torture. The Belgian wanted him to "Flash", so they could harvest the information in his mind, and sell it to the highest bidder. Little did they know Chuck no longer had access to The Intersect. That information had been suppressed. No amount of torture, or mind manipulation was going to give them what they wanted. All the chemicals and electric shock did were cause trauma to Chuck and his brain.

With or without the Intersect Chuck Bartowski was a brilliant man, resourceful and capable. During the day while these evil men were messing with his head, he kept remembering that his team was looking for him. And he knew they would never give up. Neither would he. He knew that he had to find a way to keep his mind together. More than ever, he could not afford to freak out. He had to maintain that line between Sanity and .... he had to find a way to stay sane inside insanity.

It didn't take him long to figure out that there were periods of time when they were not messing with him. Feeding him drugs and false information. It occurred to Chuck That Even Bad Guys Sleep at Night. He had his plan; he would use those "free" times to save his mind. To remember the people and things that were important to him. He just had to stay strong till Sarah got here. She was coming, he just knew that she was. Soon enough Chuck was not feeling the probing; the drugs seemed to be a little less invasive. He puts his plan into action and began to dream.

Gardenias

A notion By Lord Rapier

Edited and Guided by ParaDocs

Chuck woke up with a strong urge to plant a Gardenia bush. He couldn't seem to remember why. He just needed to feel that dirt between his fingers. The smell of gardenias made him feel something. Something warm and loving. But what was it? It was in the back of his mind, why couldn't he remember? As he squeezed the black earth between his fingers he thought, it feels real, more real than anything else right now. He thought if only I could flash..., Flash what the hell is flash? How do I flash? Am I some kind of comic book hero? Why can't I think?"

Somebody I know loves these flowers. They were sick or hurt in the hospital. Was it Sam? Do I know somebody named Sam? Who is he? Not a guy. A woman, she... I love her. But somebody else wants her. He wants to take her from me. Why can't I think? something is making it hard to think. Like I'm drunk or something. Chuck tries to shake it off, but it's not working. I need to flash..., what the hell is flash? Why do I keep thinking that?"

Chuck looks down at his hands. The earth is gone. He's holding a gun. Someone is trying to hurt Sam... not Sam. What is her name? Chuck screams "STOP, I WON'T LET YOU HURT HER. Please don't make me shoot. I don't want to shoot you. I can't let you hurt her. I love her." Chuck shakes his head again. Who is she? How can I love someone if I don't know her name?" Something is wrong her head is hanging wrong. Her blonde hair is mussed. Why is he holding her that way? Why isn't she standing?

"Stop I won't let you hurt her." The gun goes off. It's so loud, deafening. Blood flies from his chest, He falls over the side. He's trying to take her over the side with him. I won't let him. I scream "Sarah", yes that's her name Sarah. I love her. I won't let him hurt her. I run over; I grab her. He is trying to pull her over. I hate him. I scream "You've hurt her enough. Let her go, she's mine."

We're in a room, on a bed. "You saved me Chuck".

I'm confused how did we get here; did I flash... What 's flash? She pulls me to her and kisses me. I remember that kiss. This is Sarah, I love her. I've loved her for a very long time, but we can't be together. I'm not a spy. I let her down. I'm not good enough for her unless I flash. If I flash, I can be a spy. Then we can be together. NO! it's not true. She loves me. She wants me, she is going to rescue me. Rescue me from what?

I hear voices, they sound far away. Standing over him the Belgian berates the doctor. "You have had enough time. Get him to flash, I don't care what you have to do."