sunset afterglow

body of daylight.

AZIEL

5th of november, somewhere in 1990s, batangas.

it's my 23rd birthday and first death anniversary of my soulmate, i never got to grieve on her properly as i just started my adulthood last year. signing papers within owning my property, starting my first year being a pre-school teacher that i admit was fun and distracted me very well, i also got to find a therapeutic hobbies such as painting and designing my flat's interior and i'm still taking care of my plant, it's the last gift she had for me last year.

i've also decided to stop celebrating my birthday within my adult years as it only reminds me of what happened last year, the start of independent living was surely hard especially i'm so used with her presence moving around here in my flat.

i stopped spacing out on the sunset drowning on the greens infront at my window and went back to reality as i saw the bunch of papers for my lesson plan.

"shet, si happy!" i curse as i remember leaving my plant on the sunlight for hours, i open my wooden door harshly but i was greeted by a guy in white holding my happy in his hand, a frown was painted on my face immediately while the latter is frozen up on his feet with his eyes being wide open. a weird feeling lingers into my chest as i didn't saw any colors on his hair.

"azi, you grow up already na pala"

who the hell is this guy.

"sino ka?" i asked, "oh..... uh....." there was a long pause before he utter another word.

"can i have my happy back?" i break into the silence.

"yeah erm, here you go" he gave my plant back in panic, "uhm i'm belial" he said unsurely, "i don't know if you'll believe me" he added in hesitance, "pero i was an angel" he confessed while having his eyes on the ground, i was about to let out laugh but it seems like he's not really kidding, "i was the little angel that u call from your dreams"

"ikaw si little angel"

"you're real"

"you're the angel from my dream" i said, still in disbelief while the angel only nodded and staring blankly at me, "where are your wings?" i asked in curiosity, "uh about that" the angel muttered in hesitance. instead of uttering another word, the fallen angel turn it's back and took off his upper white garment, showing it's back scars. evidence of it's nowhere wings but with no feathers anymore.

"can i touch it?" i ask softly, "of course" the fallen angel immediate response. i touch his drying scars in satisfaction of curiosity, "where are you going now?" i ask as i finish touching him, the fallen angel put the garment back quickly. "i don't know" the angel paused, "anywhere....."

"somewhere who's able to keep me" the fallen angel utter, holding the gaze blankly, lost in his thoughts. "dito ako unang pumunta kasi this is the place that i only know where to go" i notice him fidgeting his fingers because of nervousness, "come in" the words i let out made him look up on me immediately, not moving an inch but a minute later, he went in with me with his eyes wandering around my wooden home, "it changed' the only word that came out on his lips

"dyan ka muna, i'll get you a drink" i went towards my kitchen as i saw him sat on my couch, memories only starts to flood in my head when i open my fridge to get him a drink, i hold onto my fridge handle as i immerse myself towards things in my head.

FLASHBACK

the night has deepens and none of my parents are home, being isolated in my room. a sob fall off into my lips as the thunders growls louder, a bright white light caught my vision which made me go to my window while wiping my tears, "little angel, it's you" he's glowing prettily and smiling at me, it made me think if i was dreaming again, he climb onto my window, we both sat at the edge in my bed, "hindi pa rin umuuwi parents mo?" napailing nalang ako sa tanong niya, "malungkot ka na naman" he said while wiping tears that continuously fall on my cheeks, i lay down on my bed while little angel only follows my action on his gaze.

little angel started to hum a dreamy lullaby.

whenever i started dreaming with him, it's been our routine of me just laying down while he sings me a lullaby, to calm me down through my lonely night.

the sky cries with me continuously, it rains heavily while the little angel's voice echoes around my room heavenly, staying with me in my bed and caressing my hair softly, filling the night of comfort.

"it will be okay azi, tahan na hmm?" he tries to make me calm but it only made me let out sobs harder, he lie down beside me, "can i hold you?" i nodded while tears still pools into my puffy face, little angel wraps his arms softly around me, i snuggle into him comfortably, he hums and caress my hair continuously.

and that's how the night fades out with him not leaving on my sight.

tears, rains, cold bed and him.

END OF FLASHBACK

siya talaga si little angel, there's also no color on his hair strand just like the little angel i met when i was younger. does that also means the memories we've shared together are all real and not just a series of dreams.

i stopped spacing out and went towards him in the living room, i sat on a chair in front of him, staring at him, observing every of his move. "why did you decided to comeback?" he looks up and in hesitance to answer my question. "before my grim reaper leave me, he told me on what might happen to me" he pause for awhile and stare at the table, "which is true because a few days after he said that, suddenly, i was on unfamiliar dark tunnel"

"na-realize ko na i became a fallen angel or....."

"naging tao ulit ako" he saw my eyes widens within his secret, "well i didn't actually last a day being a human, namatay agad ako as soon as i was born" he smiled bittersweet, "which i think was cool because i didn't get to experience in this cruel world yet i didn't get to know my own parents"

"kaya yung grim reaper ko decided on my fate for me to be born again para hanapin sila" he looks up towards me, "yun yung mission ko dito"

"hanapin yung mga magulang ko" he finally use the familiar sweet smile he gave me when i was younger, i was just in silence, not knowing what word to say, a knock on my door interrupt. i went on my door to open it immediately, si rhy lang pala, "azi, i ran out ng mga bala ng stapler, meron ka pa dyan?" i nodded and went back on my desk.

"here" i said and gave him a box of stapler's bullets, "may class ka ba tomorrow? gala naman tayo sa falls bukas, i need to unwind, nakaka-stress yung mga papers" he ranted, "madami akong klase bukas eh pero check ko sched ko later" i smiled apologetic towards my co-teacher, "fine! si sir gelo nalang yayain ko" he said and turn his back on me to get back on his house, i only chuckle at his sulking.

i went back to belial.

"what's your plan little angel?"