Numero Uno

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*Ahem* is this thing on? Yes? Mk, mk. So uh, welcome to The Random Book! Where everything makes no sense and nothing is enjoyable! Fanart, headcanons, rants, and crappy stuff like that is what you might see in this book. Ok, let's rant, shall we?

RANT:

How in the actual hell do you get followers on this app? Like, yes I've only posted one finished masterpiece but can people at least comment? Star? SOMETHING?!?!? Like Becky, I know it's hard to support people. It kinda makes me mad but then again, I haven't been in this app for long and I have the patience of a toddler in a TSA line.

QUESTION:

Do you ever just wanna bark at emo people? I do. Is this normal? Do I need therapy? My friend does too. I once saw this emo couple at Disney with a spiked dog collar, platform boots, and the classic emo haircut. It was scary cuz I thought I heard barking later that day and I swear it was probably them. Like how does Disney allow this 😭?

FANART:

Do you wanna see my fave art piece I've made? I just wanna say that I am a young artist and author so I'm not really that good. Not revealing my age though 😜😝🤪. If anyone guesses it then... Idk lol.

I'm making an art book and I added this in btw

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I'm making an art book and I added this in btw. I really like this one lol. I watched a tutorial to make this.

HEADCANONS:

If you booped these guys on the nose, they would:

VENOM (MOVIE): let's just say you'd do it so he wouldn't eat you. He would probably back up and examine his nose lol. I feel like he'd get distracted easily. Eddie would be inside like: "bro! What are you doing?" And Venom would be like: "is something on my nose? I have been booped, what has happened? What is life?".

SPIDER-MAN: Let's say you'd do it just to be cute. He'd be like: "um, huh? What?" Like the man would be too stunned to speak. He would be sputtering out words lol. He would be trying to decide to say thanks or to just shrug it off.

IRON MAN: *opens helmet* "what was that? Did you put something on my helmet?! Get it off! Now!!" He would be very skeptical. He's very protective of suit.

QUESTION:

I'm dumb so I have a dumb question. Why does your hair get so messy after the pool? Like, is it the chlorine? Is it the water itself? I also have another question. If beach water makes your hair messy, why doesn't shower water do that too? Is it the saltwater that has that effect? It makes no sense to me.

RANT:

People hate on pigeons too much!!! Like, did you know that they actually aren't wild animals? Yeah! They're DOMESTICATED!!!  They actually make great pets because they love affection! They love rubs and scritches. That is not a typo. They see you as their MATE!!! BRO!!!!! They love you that much! Like, hello?!? Stop pigeon slander!!! Use this hashtag on all of your books! #stoppigeonslander. Thank you for coming to my Ted Talk 😌.

NOT SO FUN FACTS:

•There is an animal called a Quokka who lives in Australia. They are known as the friendliest animals on Earth and even smile and take selfies with humans! They also throw their babies at a predator so they can escape. So I guess they're self centered.

•Real corpses were used in the 1982 film Poltergeist... That's great isn't it?

•Crows can remember and recognize human faces. You better not have done something bad to them or that crow is gonna pull up to your house with it's homies.

•There are bodies of over 150 dead hikers on Mount Everest, and they are used as landmarks. "Mama, I want to be a landmark when I grow up!" Said little Jimmy. "Jimmy what the f- you know what? Ok! Go to mount everest." Said Mama Bear. This is how I think a random conversation between two semi-normal people would go.

•Boanthropy is the psychological disorder in which patients believe they are a cow. "Hey Barbara! How's life?" "MOOOOOOO!" like what? Is Google lying to me? Is this an ACTUAL THING?!?

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