roll some mo.

eleven.

onika maraj point of view
miami, fl
february 19 2022

That night was the last time anyone saw or heard from Bey. I don't know what happened but we woke up and she was gone.

It was clear she didn't leave on her own free will, the door was broken and her stuff was everywhere.

I don't know how we didn't hear anything. We probably could've saved her if we weren't such heavy sleepers.

Nobody knows if she's dead or alive, not even the police. They were no help at all, as usual.

We called the police as soon as we woke up and noticed she was gone but since she was an adult and she was only gone for at most a couple hours, they didn't do anything until it was too late.

We all failed Bey. We could've done more, we should've.

At least I still have Robyn. Beys disappearance made us so much closer, we basically live with each other now.

I couldn't stop thinking about Bey so I drove to Robyn's house and told her to come outside.

She was in my car in no time wearing a sweatsuit. "Hey."

I sighed. "Hey. How are you?"

"I'm good, you know. You called me over here because you missed Bey?"

I hate that she already knew. "I don't know why I miss her so much because I much. But she made such an impact on me."

I'm thinking about going to college for her. Just for her. Nobody else could convince me to go, not even my mom.

"Bey had that effect on people. She was special."

"Let's stop using was. She's alive somewhere."

Robyn nodded even though I know she didn't think the same thing. "She's special. She cares so much about other people that it became her downfall in the end."

"Shut up." It makes me mad when she said stuff like that. "She's somewhere on a beach."

"Yeah, eating mangos right off a tree and just living the life."

I smiled and closed my eyes to imagine it. "Yeah."

"Drive somewhere else so we can smoke."

I opened my eyes and drove to our favorite smoke spot. It's right in front of this small lake and it looks beautiful when the sun starts to set or rise.

I rolled with my own weed since it would be wrong to smoke Robyn's weed since she bought it from me.

We smoke with our weed wrapped in different stuff so I rolled us two different things.

After we started smoking, I turned the radio on. I didn't like the song that was playing so I plugged my phone in and started playing my own music.

The first song that came on when I shuffled my music was Nikes by Frank Ocean.

I chuckled. "This song reminds me of Bey every time I listen to it."

She turned to me and smiled. "Really?"

"Mhm. I don't know why but I think about her every time I listen to it."

"Why? Did she wear a lot of Nike shit and so just didn't notice?"

"Hold on. Wait for this one part." We listened to the song until it got to the part that always makes me think of her. "Here."

I may be younger but I'll look after you
We're not in love, but I'll make love to you
When you're not here I'll save some for you
I'm not him but I'll mean somethin' to you
I'll mean somethin' too
I'll mean somethin' too
You got a roommate he'll hear what we do
It's only awkward if you're fuckin' him too