Soundless

Chapter 8 - lost lover

My head was spinning in circles. What is this even about? I was led into his office by the reception lady.

„Hi Pumpkin, what a surprise that you called me. I seem to be popular among idols", I said smirking as I sat down. I noticed that Jay was on the sofa on the phone so I just waved at him and concentrated on the man infront of me. He burst out laughing.

„If you call us idols again I think you will not leave alive", he giggled.

It was a warning not a threat. I know that he called was because he was worried about me.
„I am good. I slept a ton and ate just before I came", I said more seriously. He was unaware on what happened  the last days. I wanted to keep him in the dark.

„You were in the ER. I have contacts", Jay said from his corner.

„Hence why we called. You coming here is proof that you must have recovered well", he added.
„Are you stalking me?", I asked mockingly.
„No, we watch out for family", Pumpkim added seriously too. They really wanted me to part of their family. I did not mind having those men around me. I could sense I could trust them and they saw straight through me.

We heard a phone buzzing and I waited for them to take it when they pointed at me. Surprised I checked my pockets and stared at my agent phone. It never rang for any good reason and when I checked the caller ID I was frozen. It was James boss. He gave you the bad news. My hand was shaking when I picked up: „Miss Koos, we are sorry to inform you that James and Sana passed away in the night. They died in their sleep from CO gas poisoning...". I did not hear anything after that. My phone dropped to the ground, my heart was torn in a million pieces, my body was numb and I picked up my jacket and left. I knew where to go. All agents get burned in the same place. How could this be happening now? Why them? Why the only family I had? When I arrived at the hospital I was shaken to the core to see them both not breathing anymore. I cried and cried so much. I pushed the button that turned them into ashes and sat there at their service without saying one word. I would not imagine a world without them. My heart was so heavy.

The service ended and the guests left. I was trying to get up but I was too weak. Suddenly someone reached their hand out towards me. I looked up to see Jay and Pumpkin in black suits looking at me worried. Jay helped me stand. Pumpkin showed his respect to both of them and Jay did too. They pulled me into their arms and padded my head.

„We are so sorry for your loss. Cry as much as you want. Scream if you want. This is unfair", Pumpkin said and as if on cue I started howling and crying in sorrow. They both geared up too. I lost pieces of myself with them.

After the ceremony I took the ashes with me. When we left the building it started to rain.
„What a sick joke god", I shouted and started to sob again.

A man in a suit came to us and looked devastated.

„Did I miss it?", he asked me while holding his umbrella over my head.

„B.I? What are you doing here? Did you know Sana and James?", Jay asked confused.
„I know James very well. He helped me when the society pointed at us. He was in charge and believed me that I was innocent and fought until the end. Earlier a friend of mine passed by and recognized his face. I made my way here as quick as I could but I guess it was too late", he said discouraged.

I looked at him and somehow I could understand why Jame helped him. He looked like a lost puppy somehow.

„If you want you can join us in getting the ashes to Busan river. They wanted to be buried in the ocean", I offered and he smiled a bit and nodded.
Jay and Pumpkin pulled up their car and we all got inside.

„Should we make some calls?", Jay asked me.
„No, we have special rights so I can just go there and do it", I said lifelessly.

„What an odd coincidence...all of this,'' Pumpkin mumbled.

My phone rang and I saw that it was Leo.
„Yes Leo?", I answered.

„It is true then... Shit. I am so sorry. ''Where are you?", he asked, concerned.

„I am on my way to Busan. I will meet you when I am back. I am with... family", I spoke and saw Pumpkin and Jay being clearly touched. I hung up.

I watched the scenery pass by and was lost in thoughts. My head was filled about the life I had so far and how Sana and James made it so much better. Before I knew it we have arrived at the seaside. A former agent was waiting for us and led us to his boat. I opened one of the urns and emptied it into the sea. When I opened and emptied the last one I dropped on my knees crying. It hurt so bad. Pumpkin and Jay were letting me have a moment there when we got back. When the got back I was getting off the boat first.

„Let us get some food before we go,'' Pumpkin said, patting me on my shoulder. I nodded and followed the crowd into a small restaurant. I was picking on my food and was lost in thoughts.
„You should eat. You can not be the next one to die", B.I said seriously which made me look at him. That sentence reminded me of James. He would have said the same.

The waiter who just served us food came back to us and looked at me.

"Miss, there is a guy who wants to talk to you outside", he said as he pointed towards the door. I could only see a silhouette but that was enough for me. I jumped up from my seat and headed out.

The cold breeze hit my face and within seconds I was awake. The man turned around and I almost lost my balance.

"How? You are dead? What are you doing here Max?", I asked shocked.

He smiled at me and started explaining why he was not dead. He was held hostage and the NSI wanted him to lay low and after that he quit for his wife.

"HOW LONG? WHY DID YOU NEVER CALL? I THOUGHT...", I screamed at him.

"We are nothing. You were only a partner for me. I was only in all this shit because you messed up. I heard you quit too. I am disappointed in you greenhorn. Now look, you could not even protect your family", he spat at me.

This was not the Max I knew and fell in love with. This was a monster-cold and full of hate.
I stepped closer to him and said: "You should have stayed dead. If you ever cross my path again I will make sure you are".

I turned on my heels and walked back. The 3 men stood outside watching us from a distance. I headed towards the car and got inside. I was fuming and confused. Why was he alive and they dead? B.I decided to drive and Jay got in the passenger seat while I sat at the back with Pumpkin.

"Who was this?", Pumpkin asked me suddenly. I looked at him and shook my head.

"Some past I would like to forget", I replied briefly and continued to look outside the window.