Temptation Island: Broken Ties

Kabanata 23

Thea

Thea learned about Anxiety disorder before she learned it at school. She was diagnosed with it when she was 7. At first, Sandro thought she was jumpy as a kid, but she relentlessly cried over a spilled glass of water because she was scared that her Yaya will leave her for making a such stupid mistake. 

She remembered one time when she was 10 and competed in a school pageant, she was so nervous just like everybody else, but she fainted because of extreme fear of making mistakes in front of her teachers. She's an overthinker and it manifested in her body. Kulang raw siya sa validation dahil hindi lumaki sa ina. The maids only know 'bad yan' but never appreciated her for being good at something.

Having Saint around when she was 14 helped her. He soothed her by accepting her thoughts and crass, she felt needed, and her sense of belongingness and being okay with the exclusion turned her weakness into her inner goddess, she can stand up on her own and had the capability to look out for others. Now, her used to be strength brought her back to a version that she buried a long time ago. Helpless, fearful..

Thea jolted when the door opened. Her palms are sweaty, fidgety, she was foot-wagging and nail biting. Nahuli siya ni Fox na nakasalampak sa sahig at nakabaluktot.

"Thea.." Agad siyang binalot ni Fox ng yakap, doon niya lang napagtanto na nanginging ang buo niyang katawan. "Tngina, did Saint just revealed your identity and used your private photos for money? P*tangina niya!"

"Everyone saw my boobs." She hiccupped. "I am just grateful that my Dad is dead and he won't see this. He will be so disappointed. Oh my gosh.." Napasinghap siya at kumapit sa matipunong braso ni Fox.

"Well, the cover look great, though. Sorry, Thea, but it does look good. Really." It was black and white with a beaming red cross symbol to cover her nipples. Nahiya pa. Tiyak na ang laman ng magazine ay mas malala, baka si pempem ay may special feature entitled 'Lagusan ng kasalanan'. "Pero Saint is such an ass to do that! That's your private photos!" Bakas ang dismaya kay Fox.

"People hate me because I am a hypocrite..."

"Oh? 'E di tangina din nila! Akala kasi nila kulubot ka na at walang ngipin that's why you are hiding! That's why they loved you because they thought you have something in common! Narealize lang nilang hindi pala sila nakakarelate sa kagandahan mo! Nature talaga ng inggitera ang maimbyerna sa mga gaya nating diyosa."

"Putangina ang detalyado ko pang magdescribe ng sex toys! I have teen patients!" Muli siyang pumalahaw sa pag-iyak. Pati ang blog niya ay pinuproblema niya. Nawala na nga siya ng readers, mukhang mawawalan din siya ng trabaho!

Hinilot ni Fox ang sentido, halatang problemado rin. "The good thing is it the printed copy is not released yet. Nauuna kasi ng isang linggo ang e-magazine kaysa sa print."

"E di mas malala, buong Asya pa nakakita ng dede ko today! Hindi na kailangang bilhin sa magazine stand!"

"I have friends who are lawyers. I called them on my way home. Malaki raw ang laban mo dahil walang consent ang mga litrato. Even they forged your signature, mahirap patunayan pati ang detalye ng shoot na consensual iyon. You can shut down the magazine if you want."

Suminghot siya, "That's not the point, Fox.. Naisip mo bang kaya akong ilaglag ni Saint ng ganito?"

"Thea.."

Nakagat niya ang pang-ibabang labi, "Ako naisip ko pero ang rupok ko pa rin!"

Hinayaan lang siya ni Fox na magluksa sa mga nagawang pagkakamali. If that was her old self, she would pack her things and leave pero saan naman siya pupunta? Wala na siyang tirahan sa States, nasa Pilipinas na ang kabuhayan niya. And when you get older, escape is a waste of time, you will face the problems and traumas later on after all. You have to choose whether to face it now or delay it for later.