Hyperventilating {BL}

•𝕝𝕚𝕓𝕣𝕒𝕣𝕪 𝕝𝕦𝕟𝕔𝕙 𝕔𝕝𝕦𝕓•

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Elliot's POV:

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"Good afternoon, Elliot, your usual table should be free." The kindly librarian says as I push through the front library doors, ready to spend all of lunch doing homework so I don't have have to do it after school.

I walk past groups of girls gossiping and filming TikToks, boys chucking footballs over the bookshelves and clubs sitting together chatting. I pass a ginger haired boy who's sitting at a table a few away from the one I'm heading to, he's flipping aimlessly through a thick book that probably unknown to him, is upside down.

I place my bag down beside my chair once I reach my usual study table. I pull out my work books, test practice papers and laptop out and try organise them neatly on the desk.

I pick up one of the prac sheets and glance over the questions, the algebra, geometry and random crap melding and distorting in my head as I try concentrate on the words.

I grab my workbook and flip to the most recently worked on page, a bunch of different notes jotted down about some dead artist's life and paintings. I don't like art, I can't draw at all or nothing so I'm glad my art partner can do the creative stuff whilst I do the writing about the theory and nerdy stuff.

I flick through empty pages in the book until I pause of a page near the end with doodles on it, probably from my art partner, Lily.

I shut the book and hear laughing from behind me, common sense tells me their laughing at something funny, irrationality tell me I'm the 'something funny'.

I try concentrate back on my math homework, that being what I wanted to get rid of so I wouldn't dwell or stress over it.

A strange feeling traces the back of my mind that makes me shudder and clench my eyes shut, attempting to grab my pencil in the pitch black of my eyelids.

I finally relax myself and look down at the paper before me, the answers glaring back, the numbers and words and listings and equations and shapes and black ink and-

1.
2.
3.
4.
5.

5 deep breaths, in through my nose, out through my mouth.

5 things around me, pencil, book, chair, hands, wall.

5 things I like, music, my cats, hail, ice chocolate, banana bread.

5 reasons I'm okay, I'm in an enclosed area, there are other people here with me, I still have all my limbs, nothing bad is happening, it's just homework.

5-

More laughing behind me.

Too much laughing. It doesn't even sound like happy or joyous laughter anymore, just cruel, cold, venomous laughter, common sense can't excuse that.

Someone's laughing at me. About me. Did I do something?

I open my eyes and glance behind me to see what seems to be a small friend group laughing at something on someone's phone.

I'm alright. I'm okay. Everything's alright. Everything's okay. It's all fine.

I snap my head quickly around when a loud yell sounds through the library. I stare at the source of the sound, as does everyone around me.