When The Time Comes

chapter 4; Ben

I can barely concentrate as I scrape the back of the card with my apartment key. When I'm done, I drop the card on the table. From the corner of my eye, I swear I see a weightless shadow move. My heart titters but not the way it usually does on caffeine. No- it hammers, thuds down like it's counting down to something. Like you're dying a mini death, until you're ready for the final one.

I have been a little paranoid since yesterday, I'll admit. It has been a quick development, one which hasn't been a favorable one at all. This is the thirteenth card that has drawn up blank. I count the cards in my desk drawer again. I'm mistaken, it was the twelfth one. I still have an unscratched thirteenth folded up in my wallet. I think I'll scratch it later. I'm not feeling particularly lucky at this hour.

"I can uh- try for Saturday," Michael says on the speaker. "I'm on my way home, are you sure you're busy today?"

I want to tell him he can come over like we had previously planned. We were going to go out and grab coffee and cake. Maybe a burrito for him because he always is hungrier than when we make these plans. But when he does come, he'll have to stay over because we're almost an hour away from each other. And I can't afford to lose time right now. I know he'll understand once I'm gone. I am doing this for him after all.

"I promise I'll make this up to you," I say, sliding the lottery card with my finger into the drawer where they all end up. "Just give me a couple of days to finish up on work."

"'kay."

"How was the bake sale today?" 

"Surprised that people actually liked the Reece's cupcakes," he cringes.

"I don't know why you hate them so much."

"I don't but ugh-" he pauses. "They're gross. Anyway, we sold all of them in the first hour and half. I left after that."

"That's really great."

"I didn't do much though, Mrs. Douglas made the cupcakes for me. I just took them to school."

   "Doesn't matter," I fidget with my nail. "It's cool you're taking part in things."

     It wasn't always like this. I don't think I ever bought anything from bake sales and I definitely never worked a stall. A few years ago, Michael didn't have a single friend in his class. When I hear him now, it's like he's two different people.

"How's school work going?"

"Umm," he breathes through his mouth. "It's going okay."

"Are you sure?"

"Yeah," his voice glitches a bit. I can hear traffic from his side.

"What?" I miss what he said.

  "My-yy phon- is 'tuck," his voice is acting up again so I end the call and try him again.

   He picks up after a long time. 

"Is your phone still freezing up?" 

    "I think so. The screen goes black if I'm on it for too long."

"We can try showing it to someone," I propose.

   "Too expensive," he reminds me. "It's fine, I can hear you now."

I'm still not convinced. He's had his phone for almost five years now and no phone lasts that long, not anymore. I drop it though because I can't afford to get him a new phone. I wish he'd tell the Douglas', so they could get him a new one. But I guess we're both stubborn in the same ways.

"How is college? Did you make any new friends yet?"

I clear my throat a little, looking outside my bedroom window. There used to be a clear view of the business school from my last place. Now, there's a Krystal drive-thru and half put-up billboard, I can see a little further down the road.