Blood For Wages

20: The Outsider

"You think he's gonna fuck her?" one of Gunn's men––the big, calm, thoughtful bastard Fia had learned was called Breck––asked.

"I don't think it's a question of whether or not he's gonna fuck her, I just want to see if he's gonna act the gentleman and give her flowers first," came Boni Woe's acid reply.

Fia didn't turn in her saddle or acknowledge that she'd heard.

There was some rough laughter, but there was no real heart behind it. It was the brittle mirth of men and women, of longriders and soldiers, who could see the shadow of death charging down the race and weren't sure as to whether it had its eye fixed on them.

The grass was high and brown, but not high enough to hide the tumbledown shepherd's cot that Fia had organised to meet Redmond by, half a day's ride from both Castle Dreymark and Redstone. She had told Cutter to wait three dawns before delivering the message to her half-brother, so as to give Gunn and his errand riders time to gather as many fighters as they could.

The shepherd's cot sat at the edge of a small copse with the nodding, scrubby sea of grassland lapping up against it. Motes of pollen floated in the air like gold dust. The land breathed; long gusts of wind hissing through the dry stems and picking out gaps in the fallen masonry of the ancient hut, whistling through through them like an exhalation through gritted teeth. Insects droned, not giving a fuck for counts or tribelands, revenge or greed or duty.

Fia envied them.

She eyed the little dilapidated stone building, standing some hundred yards away, feeling the tide of memory tugging at her. Sunlight dappled the lichen-covered stone. The air smelled today just as it had on the day that her old life had fallen away; hidden herbs, dry soil, and distant snow.

"What's the significance of this place?" Gunn asked her.

He was sitting beside Fia on his horse. His hands were crossed on his saddle pommel. Unblinking eyes watched Marr's delegation of stationary escort riders, where they were sitting their horses in the shade of a belt of young pines across the meadow. Behind him were Breck, Boni, Darach Lees, and Cleric Vass.

Fia breathed deep. Felt the early afternoon light flicker and trace lines across her narrowed eyelids as the clouds moved across the sky. Shadows chased each other over the meadow, as Fia's past finally caught up with her and worried her like a dog at a hare, ringing her future out of her.

"This is where I hid after I killed Arlen," Fia said in a voice of frosted iron. "This is where I hid, scrubbed the blood away and cried until I was sick."

She clicked her tongue at her brumby and the beast walked out towards the heart of the meadow. None of the others followed her. Behind her, she thought she might've heard the sound of Gunn scribbling down a line or two on one of his ubiquitous scraps of paper.

As she rode alone, out into the middle of that swaying lake of dusky green, the world seemed to sharpen, almost painfully. Clearer, harder, more vibrant. Her senses became more acute. She could feel the touch of the spiky tussock grass as it pressed against her breeches. Could hear it scratching against her boots. Could smell the heady perfume of the pines and the nervous tang of the horses up ahead. Her intuition too, the sense that few people recognised and fewer still listened to, spread out its net of phantom threads around her. Each breath tasted fresh and clear and new; filled with powdered ice crystals blowing down from the peaks, heather flowers, and honeycomb. A blue and red bee landed on her sleeve, waggled its abdomen, and then took off humming a song that she couldn't understand.

She had her hair tied in a low tail so that she could still wear her hat. Kynnish tattoos on display. Swirling designs punctuated with runes. Runes denoting pain, grief, sorrow, loss, and joy taken. Runes of forgiveness and of healing. Her broadsword hung comfortably at her side. She touched at the powder horn that Arlen had gifted her all those years ago. Traced the words with her sword-callused finger.