Sun + Moon

Only Take What You Can Carry

You accepted them.

Not because you wanted to, but because he knew you could handle them. Your dad said his friend, your boss, would never ask something of someone if he knew they couldn't handle it. If he knew you could handle it, you would accept it, no questions asked. That was just how you rolled.

He kept you in his office longer, his voice held a stern tone while his eyes pleaded. You knew a broken man when you saw one.

"I don't have a lot of time," he breathed out, "a year or two left, at best."

You wrapped your arms around yourself and pursed your lips. Something inside you felt like it was stretching and pulled mercilessly, like you were dying but not at the same time. It left pricks in your stomach and your lungs felt heavy and filled with something else besides oxygen. Your fingers felt clammy and cold, your fingers were purple. You looked away unable to give him the eye contact he probably wanted for reassurance.

Is this what guilt felt like?

You felt like you were suffocating but your body couldn't take in anymore than short shallow breathes.

"Old friend," he started, "I'm so happy I got to meet you."

He opened the handkerchief and presented the stained droplets of blood. You felt sick and your head felt woozy. It wasn't the blood that affected you. You wanted to respond but words dared not to leave your lips. Your throat felt clogged.

You felt bulky arms wrap around you. "Shock hits everyone different." He stated. You felt your eyes sting and your cheeks were sticky but you were too... something to reach for them to wipe. He squeezed tighter and pressed your head to his neck, he wore strong cologne. Strong enough to pull you out of your dazed state. You nuzzled your head into the crook of his neck and sobbed.

"I'm sorry."

You cried and wrapped your noodle arms around him. He chuckled and his whole body shook. You felt like dying with him.

I don't want to be alone again.

He pulled away and wiped your eyes.

Why do I loose everyone I love and care about?

"Your dad raised ya right. You are going to do great things. I'm so proud of you."

I can't keep doing this.

_____

You fell on your bed emotionally and physically drained. Yet, your body was still profusely flooding your eyes with salt water. Your eyes were going to hurt tomorrow morning.

Dusty clicked quietly cuddling up to your neck and pulsating a soothing heat that you sighed to. You didn't move but he got the message to lay there for the rest of the night. You closed your eyes and fell asleep. You never stopped crying even in the nightmares your brain imagined.

_____(a few hours earlier in the daycare)

"Why does he always call them up there personally? I've never seen anyone else get called up there personally." Sun stated. Moon agreed. Loren sighed and dipped the rag back in hot water. She rung it out and attempted to get another sticker off Sun.

"Her/His dad and the boss were friends believe it or not, a daycare was originally his idea. But the company didn't have the money so the idea got scrapped." Loren explained and smiled after getting the sticker off. "But the boss kept trying to scrap money together to have a daycare." She rubbed glitter glue off his hands.

"What? Why was her/his dad so important? He seems to be known by everyone we meet." Moon and Suns voice mixed. "I never got to meet him. I only know so much about him because of (Y/N). Her/His dad sounded like a great guy." Loren mused.