Summer wine

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The summer sky is white, the sun's rays sharply stain the incomparable turquoise.
The birds perched on the trees will stare at me and watch my lamentation. It is enough that the holy father was disturbed.

He came to me in a dream... I couldn't see him, but I remembered the sound sweetly. Deep and mocking. For who knows how many millennia he has laughed at us, pathetic sin-driven people who pray and claim to be believers.

In my warlike state of mind, it is a little difficult to distinguish the meaning of the dream, but I too, tired of madness, but still accustomed to it, calmly waited for the savior he said was sitting on the stairs of my house.

I am also sitting on the stairs with flowers in my hair. Perhaps he would be pleased with the beauty of nature if he saw it on human flesh, but it was late. The night swallowed up the morning, and the moon shone across the summer sky.

I lay awake on the wooden stairs, sleepless - waiting for my hero. I wondered why me, an atheist, believed in god that visited me in a dream and was waiting for his gift with such torture?

Was i surprised? Yes, I was surprised. Did I know the answer? I knew and tried to close the door of my heart to the memory of him.

When the purity of the forest-colored eyes covers the nature, I feel at home, and why should I lie to you? I feel so close to him that I think he will for sure kiss my cheeks, while the soul of Mars is buried deep down in his soul.

When will the thoughts of him leave me? When will glasses of currant liqueur disappear in my hands? When will cigarettes eat my lungs?

I don't have an answer for them, but him? Hour, minute, second? Knows it all, that damned thing!

Why did I agree to summer wine, paradise and swimming under a waterfall on that cursed day? To make me feel innocent? Maybe I was a kid... Maybe? No, I was a kid, so what? From an early age, I wore the status of a prostitute with pride, but he knows my body rested only in his arms - at the peak, when I became weak.

What would it be like to think about one and only love that you found when you were young? And it remains as a stain of blood on your caged soul? Can you tell me? I am too young to feel what some call "blessing".

I wish you knew how many times I would kiss your crimson lips... You would caress my breasts and sweeten it with a gentle kiss that I haven't felt in ages.

Do you remember that I said god sent me a savior? He came on the eighteenth day of my sitting there.

Just at that moment I thought that I will go to the church and perhaps the gift of the holy spirit will meet me there. I was getting up from the ladder weakly. Leaning against the railing, I felt a calm lightness, very death-like. I almost said, "Congratulations Soph! The hunger strike did bound your coffin with four planks."

I remember that my head merged with the beech, and red streams flowed down the steps, which on the sides kept his favorite white lilies blooming.

At that moment I saw my help. The scorching sun got overshadowed by him. I fell into the sea of euphoria as he took my body in his lap. What a shame it was that my soul kept leaving flesh, but spirits did me well. His deep and mocking voice touched the few last blood cells of mine... Was not he a moonlight that streamed inside me during the drought of my veins?

You wish you knew how alive his eyes were when they sang me the lullaby of my damaged existence and once again put me to sleep in his arms.

Dear P, I will present to you as foam of the sea. Let me and our son live in the waters of Aegean Sea.


Here's to the love I can't have!

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